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Happy Animals Club – A Non-Profit No-Kill Animal Shelter Project

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For weeks, a father noticed that his 9 years old son will sneak off from their house, carrying a backpack. Out of curiosity, he decided to tag along. What he found was both heartwarming and heartbreaking.

Ken feeding stray dogs - Happy Animals Club

It turns out that his son, Ken was feeding some stray dogs that he met.

Hungry Stray Dogs eats the food brought by Ken - Happy Animals Club

They are starving and seemingly infected with diseases.

Stray Dogs with Ken - Happy Animals Club

He named the dogs “Brownie”, “Blackie” and “White Puppy”.

Give me Five Ken with dog - Happy Animals Club

Ken’s dad explained, “I am embarrassed to say I was pretty disgusted. But my son changed my perspective entirely. He doesn’t have my prejudice and paranoia, I guess. I was blown away when I saw that little zombie pup do a hi-five again and again.”

 

A Dream Since 8 Years Old

Ken had wanted to start an animal shelter since he was 8 years old. He drew and created posters for awareness around his neighborhood.

Poster drew by Ken 2 - Happy Animals Club

But lack of responses from the neighborhood until one day popular websites shared about his story online.

Thanks to the internet, lots of kind people read about his act and donated money for his act. This allowed Ken to buy high quality canned food, and provide them with veterinary care.

Ken with his dogs - Happy Animals Club

Now they healed and become healthy! Their open wounds healed, and the fur grew back.

Dog loves Ken the one who save them - Happy Animals Club

And one important thing – they had learned not to scared of humans. :)

Healthy dog taking care by Ken - Happy Animals Club

Happy and healthy Dog!

 Support Ken Animal Shelter - Happy Animals Club

P.S: Stumble upon this when I was reading news online, and I’m truly touched by this kid’s actions. Thus personally make a donation too to support his action and decided to write this up on Inspiration Boost, in hopes to spread this kindness to more people around the world. I hope that this will help reach out more kind people out there to support his act too. Cheers! :)

Support and donate here: Happy Animals Club

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Don’t Let Life Pass You By: Take a Moment to Reflect and Refocus

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This is a guest post by Marie Mccormack, who works at the UK’s leading psychic reading service, TheCircle.

Guest Post - Maria Mccormack

Don’t Let Life Pass You By: Take a Moment to Reflect and Refocus

Life is so fast-paced for many of these days with numerous work and family commitments to juggle around with, it often seems that the days can quickly turn into weeks and months and everything just seems to be a bit of a blur.

It is important for our mental and physical wellbeing to find a moment for ourselves each day so that you can reflect on what is going on in your life and be more prepared for it. Reflecting, giving yourself space and time to absorb big changes is something that you really need to schedule into your busy day, so here are some reasons why it will help you to avoid that feeling that life is simply passing you by.

 

Reflection is a valuable learning tool

It is highly recommended that you try to develop the daily habit of reflection in your life as you will quickly find that it really helps you to learn from your mistakes.

What tends to happen when we don’t take the time to reflect on our mistakes, is we often end up repeating them in the future. Try to break this cycle by taking a moment or two each day to reflect on your recent mistakes and work out in your mind how you might be able to avoid them happening again at a later date.

You can take a positive view that mistakes are actually a valuable learning tool and rather than feel ashamed or embarrassed by your actions or words, reflect on what has happened and then focus on improving your prospects of avoiding a repeat scenario.

 

Time for ideas

Taking a moment to reflect and refocus each day will often give you the breathing space and time that you need in your mind to formulate some new ideas and plans for the future.

By reflecting on aspects of your life that you feel could be improved or by sharing problems with other people that you trust, there is a very good chance that your mind will repay your devotion to a bit of quiet time, by letting some new ideas pop into head and light up the pathway to a new way of doing things when it is needed.

 

Celebrate life

If you take the opportunity to reflect on all the things that you have done right recently or in your life generally, then these positive thoughts where you try to celebrate the life that you are leading and all the good parts of it, will invariably help you to feel happier and put you in a positive mood.

It is unfortunately far too easy these days to reflect on our failures and on aspects of our work or personal life that we could have handled better, but with the aid of daily reflection it becomes a lot easier to banish these negative thoughts and instead concentrate on the positive aspects, of which there are often many when you go looking for them in your mind.

If you want to stop that feeling that life is passing you by, take a moment out of your busy day and pause for reflection, it will probably do you the power of good.

 

Marie Mccormack works at the UK’s leading psychic reading service that has been operating since 1997, TheCircle. With specialists covering every field, they have over 350 of the most credible practicing psychic readers on standby.

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8 ways on How to Boost Your Self Confidence

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This is a guest post by Hannah Brooklyn, who traveled acroos states and shares her experiences through writing in Travel and Health Niche. 8 ways on How to Boost Your Self Confidence

8 Ways on How to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is trust in oneself and one’s abilities. How does one boost this self-confidence? Below are some of the ways.

Dress Well

Dressing affects the way a person feels about himself. Dressing nice changes the way one looks at himself and makes one feel presentable and successful. This is done by wearing neat clothes, shaving and following the latest fashion trends closely.

Take Pride in Own Good Qualities

Think about things which make your personality great like ability to withstand pressure, negotiation skills or sense of humour. It makes you to admire your inner self, your personality. Write them down on paper and whenever you feel low, remind yourself about them.

Compliment People

It is said that when we are negative about ourselves we tend extend those had feelings to others around us. Some even go to a point of insulting others. Avoid negative talk about others who are not present and learn a culture of praising them and in this case you will get loved and in the long run you build your self-confidence significantly without even knowing. Get rid of negativity sources as many as you can, sit down and think about all of them. These are the things that can bring you down at any time. These sources may include friends or a career path.

Good Posture

People with bad posture are seen as lacking self-confidence. You do this because you don’t feel important. Practicing good posture makes you feel more confident in what you do. You have to stand upright and make steady eye contact and the result is positive impression from people around. Making eye contact will make you feel that you are an important person to talk to.

Learn to Speak

Many people have unjustified fear of speaking up in a group. They think that others will judge their ideas as stupid. It is true that the people you fear have the same problems as you use the same small groups to build your confidence and become a better public speaker.

Focus on Contribution

Focus on others than being self-centred because this will help you not to worry about your failures so much. The more you contribute to the outside world, the more you gain self-confidence. Contribution will eventually be rewarded with success and recognition.

Act Positive

Put the positive thinking into action in order to develop you self-confidence. As a matter of fact, you are what you do and if you change what you do, you change yourself. Even in difficult situations, tell yourself that you can. Don’t let negative thoughts or negative actions of others to make you think that you don’t have what it takes to achieve your goals. Remain positive.

Work Out

Physical fitness has a great impact on self-confidence and if you have a problem with your shape definitely you will feel less attractive or energetic. Having the will to work it out will make you feel better. In order to build self-confidence one has to have qualities like courage, curiosity and constancy.

Perpetually bitten by the travel bug, Hannah has traveled across twenty states in India and Nepal, Switzerland, Italy and Australia. She shares her experiences best through writing in Travel and Health niche. She engages in all types of outdoor adventure, explores the local way of life.Presently working for Turkey visa ,a visa providing service.

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5 Things to Do When You Hit A Low Point in Life

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This is a guest post by Hannah Brooklyn, who traveled across states and shares her experiences through writing in Travel and Health Niche.

5 Things to do when you hit a low point in Life

5 Things to do when you hit a low point in Life

There are many things that you can do to help lift yourself out of a rut. Becoming motivated may not seem easy to do when you’re at a low point in life. By following a few of these tips, you will be on your way to overcoming your low feeling and being happy again.

  1. Ask Why: Why are you feeling the way that you do? Where did this feeling come from? How can you fix it? Once you find the answer to those questions you can go about fixing the origin of your problem. Dig deep to find the root cause. Don’t allow this problem to return and affect you again. The best form of security is prevention.
  1. Buy Yourself Something To Increase Your Mood: Sometimes we give so much time and energy to other people. This can drain us. Sometimes we need to focus on ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a gift once in a while. Sometimes you can’t feel good on the inside, no matter how hard you try, so it’s time to use outside sources to feel better. Buy something that specifically makes you feel good. If you can, go out have fun for a change. This will increase your mood significantly.
  1. Exercise and Eat Healthy: Working out and breaking a sweat will immediately put you in a good mood. Reaching a low point in life could be attributed to depression. When the bad feelings come you may feel really uncomfortable. Eating healthy will make you feel alive again and full of energy. You will feel better as a result of thinking clearly. Eating raw vegetables and fresh fruits will help remove the impurities from your brain and actually help your mind with concentrating on solutions.
  1. Pray: If you believe in a higher power, pray to it. Ask it for guidance and blessings to help you overcome your problems. If you don’t believe in a higher power then meditate to yourself and get spiritual. Calm your mind and seek spiritual guidance from Mother Nature. Go to a relaxing beach and listen to the waves. Feel the wind flow through your body, and connect with the vibration and energy from the ocean. After a while, you’ll receive an answer to your problems from the universe. Just doing this act alone will help lift your mood tremendously.
  1. Use the Law of Attraction: You are what you attract. Most likely you’re feeling low because you’ve attracted it. You get exactly what you focus on. Focus on the positive and positive things will attract to you. Some people may find it hard to focus on happy things in a time of despair. Use affirmations and repeat positive phrases to yourself over and over again. You will feel your mood start to lift. If none of these tips help you to increase your low mood, then it may be time to seek some professional help. Being stuck in a constant low point in life is a sign of a possible mental disorder. Sign up for your EHIC (European Health Insurance Card) so you can get the professional help you need to start feeling better today!
Perpetually bitten by the travel bug, Hannah has traveled across twenty states in India and Nepal, Switzerland, Italy and Australia. She shares her experiences best through writing in Travel and Health niche. She engages in all types of outdoor adventure, explores the local way of life.

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What Is The Meaning Of Life?

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meaning of life

meaning of life

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
― Oscar Wilde

I’ve seen a lot of lost soul, people who repeat the same thing each day even though they dislike it. And I have seen a lot of dreamers, people who have great vision but caged in their own tiny circle, which others known as the comfort zone.

They have everything they need: food, shelter, and clothing like the others. Their life seems perfectly fine, yet at the same time, they still feel unsatisfied about something and they do not seem to enjoy their life.

It’s like their life is lack of something. It’s like there’s an empty hole in their heart. They can feel the chill and hollowness from within.

Are you one of them?

Well, it’s okay if you are because I’m one of them too. Not just once. But several times in different stages of my life. I took time and came to realize that lacking of purpose in life is the main source of the so called emptiness.

I re-stumble upon this question again regarding the purpose of my life last year mainly because a lot of things around me has changed. It was a very challenging year for me. Intense inner conversation pushed me to rethink about my whole life seriously.

I asked myself a lot of questions about my career, passion, values and identity during the inner conversation session, and there’s one particular question which I can’t put it off from my mind. You guessed it right, what is the purpose of my life is the key question.

 

Why This Question?

Because it can helps to answer a lot of interesting things like:

1. Why are we here?
2. What is life all about?
3. What is the purpose of our existence?

In the past, I used to be able to tell what I wanted to do almost instantly, as if I know what I wanted in my life all the time. Yet, it was not the same for me last year. I took quite a long time to explore and to re-understand myself before I was able to answer this question myself.

When I was still struggling for the answer, it worries me a lot because I can’t seem to sort out the purpose of my life like I used to be. I think there was something wrong going on with me and it freaked me out. It leaded me to confusion and frustration. Not to say, it also made me feel kind of lost.

It’s rare for me to share my personal experience in such a way, especially when it is rather a not so positive one. But, on second thought, I think this is important for me to share it because I believe there might be someone else who is also facing the same frustration as I did.

 

My message is simple: you are not alone and this is normal as it happens to other people as well.

 

Now, I’m grateful for all the confusion and frustration I went through because what Tony Robbins said is true, very true indeed.

“If I’m confused, I’m about to learn something.” – Tony Robbins

Confusion triggers thinking, which eventually leads to linking and learning. In short, I was meant to get confused first, then only I have the chance to learn more about the purpose of my life.

 

 

The Quest Begins

 

Before I was able to sort out the purpose of my life (sounds funny and pathetic), I actually went through a lot of interesting things.

I began by Googling “what is the purpose of your life” and a list of “methods” pop up to teach me how to define the purpose of life. To put it in general, the methods are similar as below.

 

How to Find The Purpose of Life:

1. Get ready with a pen and paper

2. Brainstorm the purpose of your life

3. Rank them by feeling which one resonate better with you

4. Whichever falls on the highest rank should be your purpose in life.

 

I did brainstorm the purpose of my life. But I feel it’s almost impossible for me to rank them. Each and every one seems so important to me. Plus, there’s no particular way to help me in filtering the items on the list. Perhaps the direction is not clear enough for me to form a specific thinking pathway to find the answer. The question here is what should I base on to rank the items on the list and to pinpoint the exact purpose of life?

P/s: At the end, I came up with a list of questions, from which I pinpointed my direction and started brainstorming the purpose of life. It’s at the bottom of this article, but for now, please read on.

On second thought, I go on and Google “things to do before you die”.
I thought the things to do before we die should be something of more serious and should be in line with our purpose of life. When I was going through the list, I made a simple assumption. I assume that if I’m able to find the similar to dos in these lists, I can then at least grasp the general idea of the purpose of life.

However, things does not went out as I have expected. Each list offers different kind of things which should be done. It’s impossible to sort out the general or repeated item appears in these lists. They are just a pile of fun-to-do list or wish list which others want to do one day. The activities does not really portray what we should do in life in order to achieve the purpose of life. It proves my assumption was dead wrong.

I grabbed 15 to-dos randomly from random purpose of life lists, so you can understand what I mean they are just a fun-to-do list, not really portray the purpose of life. Furthermore, some are rather vague while the rest sound absurd to me, no offense though.

 

Fun-to-do list:

1. Send a message in a bottle.
2. Shower in a waterfall.
3. See a lunar eclipse.
4. Achieve your ideal weight
5. Go scuba diving
6. Overcome your fear of failure
7. Learn a skill
8. See northern lights
9. Forgive someone
10. Do an extreme sport
11. Be someone’s mentor
12. Sleep under the star
13. Own one very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit
14. Watch all those damn movies everyone keeps talking about
15. Write a book

 

Some of the to-dos are quite meaningful like donate blood and hair. It makes me feel good about doing it. However, majority of the items in the list are senseless to me.

The longer I went on looking at the list the more I got confused. Some of the things in the list were pretty vague, like look into the mirror and love yourself unconditionally, let go of your past, welcome all life lessons. All of these are important and they should be applied in life. However, I do not count them as the whole or most important things in life until I would call them as the purpose of life. They are just the small theme of life, while I was seeking a higher level theme of life which we all nod our head without doubt when we say it is the purpose of life, the purpose for us to stay breathing tomorrow.

So far, the purposes of life I’ve found are too vast and they are different depending on our age, culture, religion, gender and etc.

Then I realized it is important to first define the meaning of life. Once we are able to define the meaning of life, we can find our purpose to live. For example, if we think life is all about adventure, then our purpose to live is to see, to feel, and to try every single novel things; if we think life is about conquering our own fear and to be better, then the purpose of our life is to accept and to accomplish all kinds of challenges in life.

 

 

The Reference and Reflection On The Purpose Of Life

 

So, how should I put the meaning of life in one sentence then?

I was completely clueless when it comes to this question.

I have spent a long time wondering around, looking at internet source, books summary, trying to grasp the meaning of life. Yet, the answer I got sometimes was too general, sometimes was too specific until it is irrelevant with my life. In short they were not convincing enough.

However, throughout this process, I have some interesting findings.

I found the “meaning of life” quotes from Noble Peace Prize winners and others.

 

 

Quotes About Life by Noble Peace Prize Winners & Others:

“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”
– Nelson Mandela

“We are but visitors on this planet. We are here for ninty or one hundred years at the very most. During that period, we must try to do something good, something useful with our lives. If you contibute to other people’s happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life.”
– Dalai Lama XIV

“A life not lived for others is not a life.”

- Mother Teresa

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘what are you doing for others?’”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly. The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better.”
– Robert F. Kennedy

It’s intriguing to imagine why would they want to go through all this hardship? What are their values? And, if I were to be able to meet them in person, what will they tell me about the meaning of life? The only thing I know here is that most of them are givers. They give others something while facing great challenges.

It is interesting to look at what these respectful people said about life. How they view their life can be a very good reference for me. However, ultimately, we will have to be the one who attach meaning to our own life. Only we have such right and only we are capable of doing this because it’s our own life after all.

There’s no universal (one fit for all) purpose of life. The purpose of life and the meaning behind it, we will have to define them ourselves, in our very own context.

Even if there is such universal purpose of life and if we were to seek it, then obviously we should be one of them sharing the same purpose.

So, perhaps, we should just start looking for the answer within us.

 

Now, looking back into the past, I’ve listed down the meaning of life I once lived by.

When I was a kid, meaning of life was about self-growth, I wanted to see how far I can go, particularly in my studies. Then, when I was a teenager, the true meaning of my life was to be myself, to think and to be able make judgement independently. After I joined the working field, I realized to be able to achieve inner peace was the meaning of life after went through various challenges in life.

For me, the meaning of life will just keep changing throughout our life. This happens because we grow, and then we tend to look at things from a different perspective. Also, learning new things will broaden our horizon, allowing us to view things from a completely different level. Cut it short, when we grow, the way we perceive the meaning of life change.

 

The Powerful Questions

 

So, if it keeps changing, then why should I bother to define the meaning of life now? If I insist to keep looking for it, then how should I find the meaning of life?

Great answer derived from good question. So, after went through the filtration, I get myself a list of questions below.

 

Top 5 Questions to Find The Meaning Of Your Life:

1. What would you do if you do not need to work for money any more?
2. What is the only thing you do not mind working on it for 12 hours per day for the next decade?
3. What is the number 1 thing makes you feel truly content from inside out?
4. If you were to write a book about your life, what do you want the story to be?
5. What would be your biggest regret in life upon the true face of death?

 

At the end, I personally top pick this “What would be your biggest regret in life upon the true face of death?” as the most powerful question to find the meaning of my life.

It reminds me of one particular article which talks about regrets, which I have gone through a very long time ago. I found it again and it was written by Bronnie Ware, a former nurse who spent years working in palliative care, looking after patients in the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives.

She has a book for this: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

Regarding the book, some say it’s good, while others say otherwise. Well, if you ask me, I wouldn’t recommend the book because based on the reviews, the book concern much more about her own life than about those she had nursed. However, for those who would like to go more in depth on the topic than an article and do not mind to explore more about the writer’s life, you might want to purchase her book.

Nonetheless, here it is.

 

The top 5 regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I’d let myself be happier.

 

To be frank, even though it is just a simple article, it helps me to form a new perspective towards the meaning of life. It reminds me something of importance.

If we were to define the meaning of life for now, it might not hold the same for tomorrow as we will grow. However, if we were to look at it as if we are at the last few years of our life, then we can have an eternal lasting meaning of life because we can come to see which meaning of life is the most important one at the end of the day. And, I would say this kind of meaning of life would the purest one we can come up with because we are looking at it now at the very last stage of our life where a lot of things does not matter any more.

 

At the end of our life:

1. We stop lying to ourselves
2. We stop pretending to be someone we are not
3. We stop chasing materialistic thing which we can’t take away with us
4. We stop competing with others when giving matter more
5. We stop wasting our time explaining ourselves to others because your close ones don’t need it
6. We stop overlooking the beautiful little things around us
7. We stop spending time with the wrong people

 

When we are at the very end of our life, we stop chasing the wrong things because we finally came to realize our time is depleting, we can’t take things for granted like we used to be, and we can only afford to pay attention to what we treasure the most. And by stop chasing the wrong things, we give the right things a chance to catch us.

 

 

The Discovery – The Meaning Of Life

 

Well, I guess Steve Jobs were right after all.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
– Steve Jobs

Look at life once more upon the face of death is very powerful, too powerful indeed.

 

It helps me finally come to understand that:

1. Life is not about the destination but the journey – Like Dalai Lama XIV said, “We are but visitors on this planet. We are here for ninety or one hundred years at the very most.” If that is true, then it’s the process which matter most, not the destination. It is just the same when we travel. Tokyo, Paris, or Thailand, the destination does not matter much, but it is how we spend our time and what we do matter the most. In short, how we live, our journey matters the most.

2. Life is nothing but the accumulation of moments – To have a meaningful life, first you need to have a series of meaningful moments. Always focus on the present, make the present a meaningful moment consistently and you will naturally have a meaningful life.

 

From this understanding, I would say that:

The ultimate meaning of life is to live totally, and to live totally means to live at present.

-Darren Chow

Looking at life upon death peels away all those beautiful illusion in life. It makes us understand that we are not living. We are in fact dying since the day you born.

In fact, it allows us to see that the future is just an illusion but the present is real. Every second we spent living in the future is just a second wasted.

Things became not so pretty but it definitely helps us to come up with the purest meaning of life. Once we start paying more attention to the present, instead of the future which lies beyond imagination, we truly live.

Furthermore, regrets only happens when we finally see what we are chasing after all this while is not the thing what we really want in life. And, looking back at the top 5 regrets of the dying, we can see that most of the regrets can be prevented if we understand the purpose of life is to live in the present. If we can live at the present, we can value things which is important to us right now higher than the things we believed is important to us in the future, and this prevent us from missing what we truly want in life.

 

 

The Conclusion on The Meaning Of Life

 

It sounds silly and pathetic but it took me almost half a year to come to this conclusion.

It took me a long while to go through books, articles, videos and other sources to see what others think about life. Meanwhile, I try to extract the meaning of life via inner conversation, also via going through normal daily activities myself.

It took me some time to boil it down to its simplest form and allow myself to finally be able to grasp the meaning of life which is to live totally. Once we understand this, we will not question about our existence anymore because we are now living it to the fullest, giving life its meaning. The meaning of life is here, not far in the distance future where it is just an imagination, an illusion.

With that saying, go do whatever we think is important right NOW. Punch through the obstacles and challenges along the journey until we accomplish it, so that we will have no regrets in life. We have to create and to attach the meaning to our life by living the things we think are important. Well, after all, we only live once.

Nothing comes with us when our soul leaves our body. Thus, the only thing we value the most before we leave this world will be our memories. So, let’s make sure we live totally and put in more happy chapters into our life now. Every single person is a book, so let’s write a really good one for ourselves.

Thank you for reading and I would like to end this piece of writing by sharing an interesting quote with you, a quote by Osho.

“Life is not a business, it is a play. And a play has no purpose really, it is non-purposeful. Or you can say play is its own purpose, to play is enough. Life is not reaching towards some goal, life itself is the goal. It is not evolving towards some ultimate; this very moment, here and now, life is ultimate.”
-Osho

 

 

 

So, what is the meaning of your life?
And, why do you think that is the meaning of your life?

I’m super curious about it!
Please share it with me via the comment box below.

Please Share this post with the one you care!

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Darren Chow writes at www.InspirationBoost.com. He truly believes that positivity is contagious, so does your smile. Thus, he founded Inspiration Boost with a core vision: to spread inspiration to as many people as possible.

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27 Most Powerful Beliefs

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Belief is so powerful that it can empower one even if it is not true sometimes.

It serves as the filter for our outer reality. We often look at the event happened around us differently than the others because we hold different beliefs. It affects how we allocate our focus, and then how we respond towards the same event. In short words, having an empowering beliefs strengthen you, while limiting beliefs cages you and hinders you from what you are really capable of.

Thus, be extreme cautious in what you chose to believe. Review your current beliefs from time to time, to see does it conflicts with your values and causes you dilemma.

There are a few beliefs which I think are truly powerful if we can actualize them in our daily life and I would like to share them with you today.

I have 27 in the list, and I hand-picked 7 of them which I think are the most powerful beliefs,for which I have learnt by hard in life.

 

The TOP 7 Most Powerful Beliefs (IMO)

 

1) Everything happens for a reason and a purpose that serves me.

I always think that, in life, the best gifts is usually wrapped in challenges.
We often learn the best lesson in life at the worst time, from the greatest mistake we did. One very empowering thought about the challenges you are facing now is that it happens to you because you are special. You are chosen to go through this and to overcome it because you are destined to help the others who are also facing the same challenges to overcome theirs. It is indeed a gift in disguise. Always remember, we found greatest courage in greatest fear, greatest achievement among the greatest challenges. We might not be able to see it now, but in the future we will understand when the dots started to link together. From today onwards, choose to see difficulties as blessing, you then will have the opportunity to learn and to transform it into some wonderful experience which others could not possibly understand or experience as they do not have the chance to go through the same challenges like you do.

Marilyn Monroe Quotes Picture

 

 

2) I am in charge of my life

Peer pressure, education, culture, religion, and tradition all have something to say about our personalities. Be very cautious in selecting your input: what you read, watch and listen. Make sure you shape your own identity, or else you will be shaped by others subconsciously. In life, we will certainly encounter a lot of challenges and we will be given a lot of option. When you are lost, just close your eyes and follow your own will. What is the most important thing for you now? Pursue your answer. Ultimately, it is your life and you’ve got to make that call yourself.

Jimi Hendrix Quotes

 

 

3)To live totally is to live in the present

If you live in the past, you will be wasting your present because yesterday is just a memory which can no longer be altered but today is a gift for you to alter your destiny. If you were to live in the future only, you will be so blind to miss out all the beautiful things which you can appreciate only when you live in the present. Thus, to live totally is to live in the present. To me, this is the meaning of life which I’m only able to derive it for myself after feeling lost for almost a year. You can read more about why I think it is the ultimate meaning of life here. Last but not least, you can learn more about life from Dalai Lama. Someone questioned him what surprised him the most and his answer is both hilarious and wise, “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”- Dalai Lama

Lao Tzu Live in Present Quotes

 

 

4) There’s no failure, there’s only lesson and an opportunity to develop greater inner strength

Most people give up because they think they have “failed”. However, this is not true at all. They didn’t fail. What they have is just a result derived from a method which do not work. In fact, they just need a simple review and tweak, then they are ready to go again. Remember, things only end when you give up. Every time when something opposite turned out, take it as another step closer to your success. P/s: Never ever skip the review part, or else you will be doing the same thing again.

Robert Kiyosaki Quotes

 

 

5) Happiness, emotion is a choice

Emotion is one great part of our life. Some people seems to live their entire life happily under sunshine that everything just seems so perfect for them, while the others seems to be clouded by misfortune all the time that everything is so dull and gloomy for them. Well, I agree that daily event does occur out of our expectation. However, no matter what happened to us, we always hold 100% control on how we interpret and respond. This pretty much means that we can control how we feel most of the time, and it is the matter of choice whether or not we shall choose happiness than otherwise. Some people born with defects complaint their entire life on the unfair limitation over them, yet others (like Nick Vujicic) strive and turn themselves into the greatest source of inspiration for others. Happiness is in fact a choice. Make your choice today.

Quotes about Being Happy

 

 

6) When I’m confused, I’m about to learn

Unless we are passionate about it, learning something new usually cling to negative emotion because we are lack of the knowledge and skills to hold full control of it. Misallocation of focus drains power from us and weaken us. Thus, be very careful on how you interpret events into meanings in life. When you are confused next time, do not tell yourself that it is too hard for you to understand, instead tell yourself it’s great that you are confused now because it means that you are going to learn something new. If you are not confused enough, you simply didn’t learn much.

Learning Quotes

 

 

7) The past does not equal to the future

Understand this simply empowers you every single day. If you didn’t achieve your goal yesterday, well, today is a brand new day for you to start all over again. In other words, you have a chance to make a difference in life again today. If you have achieved what you wanted yesterday, well, it will remind you to be cautious and not to be overly proud of your past achievement because what you have might slip away due to carelessness.

robin sharma quotes

 

Some other powerful beliefs listed here.

Which one do you wish to incorporate deep into your daily life?

1. Others’ opinion is just a reference for me to make my decision.

2. I accept that life is like a wave. It has its ups and downs.

3. My life is wholly my choice. It goes how I want it to be.

4. Everyone I meet is a best friend I do not know yet.

5. Nothing is impossible in life as long as I believe and take action.

6. I believe I can learn from any situation.

7. We do not need to catch the negative balls thrown to us all the time.

8. I’m flexible and I can adopt new changes into my life.

9. When one door closes another opens

10. I’m open to all the great abundance in life.

11. I do matter. My words matter, my persistence matters and my life matters.

12. There is no total darkness. It is just absence of light.

13. I need to know how to love myself first, then only I can love the whole world.

14. I’m going to enjoy this challenge, no matter what the outcome may be.

15. Fear is only a feeling, thus it cannot hold me back.

16. We can only find valor in great fear.

17. People come into our life for a reason: to support us, to love us or to teach us a valuable lesson.

18. You can only reflect true happiness when you are truly happy in the first place. Be happy.

19. A great answer is always derived from great question. Always ask a good question.

20. Our life values does not based on what we have in possession or what we have achieved, but how much values we have given to others. It is all about making a change to other people’s life, lifting life that counts. Giving, it represent our life’s value.

 

So,

Do you agree with me that belief is very important in life?
Does any of the TOP 7 most powerful beliefs resonate with you?
And, what is your single most powerful belief you have in life?

Share it with me at the comment box below.
I would love to learn from you.

 

And, if you think this article is both awesome and empowering, please share it with your friends and families.

Thanks for reading.

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Darren Chow writes at www.InspirationBoost.com. He truly believes that positivity is contagious, so does your smile. Thus, he founded Inspiration Boost with a core vision: to spread inspiration to as many people as possible.

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6 Top Tips to Improve Your Life Despite of Adversity

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improve despite adversity

In this article, I’m going to share with you the 6 top tips how to improve your life now despite of adversity. After reading this article, you will be able to focus on the important things which you might have missed in the past and start changing your life towards a better direction.

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6 Top tips how to improve your life despite of adversity

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First: Accept that adversity is part of our life

If we look at successful people, we can always see that they are usually not those who never faced failure at all in their life. In fact, some of the most successful people in this world we have heard of started out poorly, and in fact have failed many times.

For example, the most famous basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan was just an ordinary person before he joined the NBA and he was even being cut out from his school basketball team because they said he is “lack of skill”.

The greatest inventor in history, Albert Einstein was thought as mentally retarded when he was young. He didn’t speak until he turned 4 and didn’t read until he was 7. His grade were so poor in school that his teacher actually asked him to quit his school.

There are so much more other great failures that famous people made. Do you know Walt Disney very first cartoon production actually went bankrupt? Do you know Henry Ford’s early businesses actually failed and has left him broke five times before he founded Ford Motor Company? Do you know Winston Churchill actually was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the prime minister at the age of 62?

Successful people do not whine or complain over the adversity. Furthermore, they do not attribute their hardships to others. By accepting the adversity as part of life and never put blame onto others, they are actually moving the locus of focus back to themselves and allows them to take charge of their life.

If everything happens because of uncontrollable elements other than ourselves, then we will definitely feel weak. On the other hand, if we accept things and put back the locus of focus to ourselves, we will definitely feel that we are in charge of our life and we can make a drastic change in our life today. It is this kind of feeling which gives sparks to all the wonderful things in our life.

Zig Ziglar Famous Life Quotes

 

Second: Find the lesson hidden in adversity

In the last article, I shared the 27 most powerful believes with people, for them to use as seeds of inspiration in daily life. The number 1 most profound belief as shared in the article is “Everything happens for a reason”.

We often learnt the best lessons in our life in some of the most difficult time. Thus, we should view such adversity in life as a disguised gift, wrapped up in the name of problems. When we ask for bravery, life gives us fear; when we ask for strength, life gives us tests; and when we ask for opportunity, life shows us the deficiency. As you can see, the most precious gifts in the world are always wrapped up in some sort of negative things. Peel them away and you shall get what’s within. It is indeed a blessing to be able to see through it and learn whatever life has to offer us.

zig ziglar quote

 

Third: Learn the alternatives to overcome the adversity

If you have read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, written by Stephen Covey, you would know and probably agree that “Be Proactive” is important.

When we face adversity in life, we do not sit and wait for things to change by itself. We brainstorm, we think creatively to come up with a plan to turn the table and to change the game. This is perhaps, to me, the most interesting part of our life where we learn and grow.

There are so many ways to learn the alternative out there. For example, if you are not satisfied with your current financial situation and you would like to learn the alternatives to bring more income by using your free time, then perhaps you should do more research about it. The easiest way is to just Google it! You can read tips and suggestions from many others around the world. Blogs and related articles can help you to widen your horizon.

If you want to get more insight about something, go to forums for discussion. Forum is a great place for us not only to absorb information from the others but it is also a good place to build network. You can meet people who are starting out just like you and both of you can be partners because you both are sharing the same goal. With a greater talent pool and skill sets, it is more likely you can do more and achieve your goal faster.

It’s even greater if you can go for books because all the info is already well documented and this helps you to learn something step by steps unlike just reading random articles here and there. By all means, you can also attend seminars or online courses available within your reach.

I purchased courses online quite frequently mainly just because I want to achieve or to solve something systematically and efficiently. I can research and find the answer by myself via Google, but often, I think it is wiser just to invest in online courses because that would shorten my path to success a lot faster.

Knowledge Quotes

Forth: Evaluate the options faster

Most of the time, we do not proceed further because we simply do not know what are the options available to us. However, there are times where we already know our direction but there’s simply too many channels we can use to arrive at the final destination. We tend to stay still to do evaluation first before decided to take up anyone of these options. Evaluation of options is important, planning is important, but the most important things is always action because results only derived from our actions.

Avoid being a perfectionist. To have something done perfectly, it means that we will have to plan very much into the details of everything. This also means that we will have to look into the different possibilities and ended up taking more time. It is important to plan ahead but remember to do it reasonably. You can’t be possibly take into accounts of everything before you act. It is just unpractical.

Launch your plan after it is considerably thought after and then adjust and learn new things along the way. If we were to learn every single thing before we proceed, we might ended up with nothing or lost the opportunity as others would have grabbed it away before we do.

If the evaluation of option is a challenging task for you, then perhaps you have encounter a dilemma in terms of values and beliefs. When you have difficulties in prioritizing your values and beliefs, it is going to be hard for you to make a decision.

For example, a person might be facing a dilemma when he really wants to study abroad but then this also means that he cannot work and contribute financially to the family. So, if he does not have clear ranking of values and beliefs, he will have a hard time to convince himself to pick up a choice which is the most suitable one in his own opinion.

We will go through quite a lot of dilemma in life, so do not be frustrated about it, take it as a golden chance for you to know yourself more. If come to the worst, you are unable to make a choice logically, then just close your eyes and follow what your heart is whispering as there’s one saying “our heart might be on the left but it is always right”.

Strive for Progress

 

Fifth: Make uncertainty interesting.

Well, sometimes we know what the best is for us but we just can’t seem to pay the effort to do it. Some people said it is because of the fear, to be specific, the fear of failure. But most of the time, it is not that serious to the extent of being in fear. We just simply not motivated to put it into action because we know the plan might work but the problem lies very much in the “might”.

Doing it might bring us good, but it is not 100% guaranteed that it will be successful and this is the mindset which stops a lot of people from reaching their maximum potential. Human beings are gifted because of our ability to simulate scenario, the worst case scenario. It helps us visualize potential hazards around us or to foresee the challenges which might lies ahead of us, so we can protect ourselves by avoiding it. It is a great gift but sometimes it works in a negative way and disempowering our lives, unconsciously.

When we tell ourselves, “wow, look at this project, it might bring a huge changes in my business”, our same awesome mind will always, in the speed of light, throw us the question “what if it does not work out at all?” and this usually ended all the sparks which could have change our lives. We have inner conversation all the time and by asking ourselves a question can be either empowering or disempowering us. Thus, be very careful at the question you ask yourself.

It is hard to monitor our conversation as most of the time it happens unconsciously. However, effort can be made, habits can be formed to monitor and to influence the way we talk to ourselves. Yes, it is achievable, just don’t take my words for it, go and try it yourself.

If you are wondering why there are a certain things keep happening on you like a cycle, for example procrastination, giving up on great opportunity frequently and regret later on, or unable to blend into a new social circle, then perhaps you can start observing your inner conversation in respective situation. What did you ask yourself last time when you decided to delay your project? What did you say to yourself when you decided to give up? And, what did you tell yourself when you enter an unfamiliar social circle? Those are the sparks which lightened your action. Change the sparks and you will change your action.

Next time when you ask yourself “what if it does not work out as expected?”, change that question and ask yourself again “what happened if it works out great?” A simple shift like this will change your focus and triggers images or visualization which actually now motivates you and empowers you to move forward. It is amazing, isn’t it?

Take Risk

 

Sixth: List down the values of overcoming the adversity

A lot of times, we do not move on with the plan in our mind because the clarity of values is not there. And, when the clarity of value is absent, then we will flow together with whatever that comes to us. This dangerous because we might be heading towards the opposite direction. Thus, we will have to halt and really think about the values of overcoming the adversity.

People who value lives will be much willing to travel far from home to aid those people in need, while people who values justice will do whatever they can to make things right even if their life is being threaten by other parties. Only when the values of overcome the adversity is higher than the value of leaving it as it is, we will decided to move forward.

We very often look into the monetary value only. However, from my personal experience, emotional, intangible values are usually the most powerful values in lives, even greater than the monetary values. Just for an example, I have seen those tops salesman achieve wonderful sales amount not mainly because they own some extraordinary skills but they are so passionate about their product and they truly believes that the products can help people to change their lives in a better way. It is their enthusiasm which set them apart from the rest, from their competitors. They simply do not afraid to receive rejection from potential clients, in fact they receive more rejection than the others, yet they are the one most motivated to move forward and to move fast each and every day because deep down, they have the values clearly lies within them.

Albert Einstein Quotes

 

As a conclusion

There’s always ups and downs in our life and we can never run away from adversity. The faster we decided to face it and to do something about it, the faster our lives can be changed according to our will. As usual, I hope my articles can help to inspire you to achieve greater success in life. If you do think that this article is valuable to you, please do me a favour and share this with people around you. It will definitely encourage me to come up with more great content for you, my friends. Thank you for reading.

 

If you think this article is both awesome and empowering, please share it with your friends and families.

Thanks for reading.

Get daily inspiration, please like our Facebook Page

Darren Chow writes at www.InspirationBoost.com. He truly believes that positivity is contagious, so does your smile. Thus, he founded Inspiration Boost with a core vision: to spread inspiration to as many people as possible.

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Meaning Of Love Of My Life – 6 Signs of True Love

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Meaning of love of my life

Are you looking for the real meaning of love of my life? Well, you have come to the right place.

This article will show you different meanings of the phrase “love of my life”, so you can understand it faster. You will also learn how to find the love of your life and what are the signs that you have found the love of your life.

You will learn:

  1. What’s the meaning of the love of my life
  2. How to find the love of your life
  3. 6 Signs she is the love of your life ( For Men)
  4. Is he the love of my life ( For Ladies)
  5. Signs you found your love of life
  6. Can you have more than one love of your life
  7. What is the real meaning of love
  8. What is LOML
  9. Recommendation: Find your love of life faster

 

Heads up: My post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through such links, I will be rewarded a small commission to buy ice cream, at no extra cost to you.


Definition Of The Love Of My Life:

A person you love the most in your life or a person you hold so dearly in your heart.

 

Best Description Of The Love Of My Life:

The person might not be at your side at the present but every little thing in life often reminds you of him/her. Time has passed but the memories you have about that person do not fade. You have a feeling that you won’t be able to find someone like that again, and no one can replace that person in your life. That person has a very special position in your heart, forever.

 

Another Meaning Of The Term Love Of My Life:

  • According to UrbanDictionary, it means a person from whom you feel the warmest affection and gratefulness in life. You feel that, without that person, your life can never be complete. 
  • A soulmate whom you love with all your heart and you would anything for him/her. 
  • A person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You can’t imagine a life or future without him or her.

 

research of love of your life

 


How To Find The Love Of Your Life

In order to find the love of your life, your special one, your soulmate, you can follow the following 5 steps

Step 1: Be authentic

If you want to find a person who loves you for who you really are, then you must not be afraid to be your true self from the very beginning. If a person is willing to love you through your moments of imperfection, you can know that it is true love. Not only you have to be authentic, but you also need to know yourself well and believe you are enough to love and to be loved. 

Step 2: Expand your social circle

If you can’t find the right person in your current social circle, then you should stay out of your comfort zone and expand it. A lot of people find it hard to make new friends because they are shy and they considered themselves not good at small talks. To be more specific, they do not know how to open and to continue a conversation with strangers. Fear of awkwardness for not knowing what to talk about often hinders them from taking the initiative to speak and to connect with new acquaintances in life.

Hence, in my opinion, the easiest way for you to expand your social circles is to join the meetups or organization you enjoy. This way, you will be meeting people who share similar interests and have a common topic to talk about. So, what do you want to do or to learn? Don’t do it alone. Find a community, join them, and share the fun while meeting new friends.

Step 3: Be curious

After you made friends via joining meetups or organizations, you can roughly gauge who is the one who clicks with you. You can then ask the person to hang out together sometimes. No need to be afraid of rejection because you are not asking for a real date. It is just a simple hang out like grabbing a cup of coffee together or ask the person if he/she wants to accompany you to buy something and give you some suggestions. If the person likes you and enjoys spending with you, he/she will say yes. Be curious and learn more about that person via small talks.

Step 4: Connect at an emotional level

Besides sharing your thoughts and opinions, you should also share your feelings and stories during a conversation. No one likes to share about own weaknesses and be vulnerable. But, if you are willing to put the guard down and share your real feelings and stories, very often you will be surprised that the other person is willing to do the same too. This is the stage to see if you both can connect at a deeper level.

Step 5: Allow the relationship to unfold 

There’s no rush. If you both genuinely attracted to each other, the connection will develop and grow by itself. Just focus on being your true self and become more attractive by enhancing your inner beauty and dressing confidently will do. When the moment is right, you or the other person can then express the real feelings to finally start a meaningful long term relationship together. 

 

How Do You know When You Found The One?

 


How To Tell Someone They Are The Love Of Your Life

There’s no best script to tell someone he/she is the love of your life but you can follow the following formula to craft your own authentic words.  I put down some starter template for you, so you can draft your own version easily.

 

First, tell them why he/she is very special to you.

  • I have never met anyone in my life who…
  • I always thought….. until I met you….

 

Second, say what did he/she do that touches you deeply

  • You were always there for me when I needed you the most. When I…, you…
  • If it wasn’t for you, I would have never…
  • I can… because of you

 

Third, express your wishes and love

  • We have been seeing each other for a while and I realize that the more I see you, the more I want to be with you.
  • And every time when I am not with you, I keep thinking about you and I just can’t wait to see you again.
  • I am not very good at expressing my feelings in words, however, I want to tell you my feelings today. I…

 

Love Quotes:

Love Quotes Greatest Love Quotes of All Time Love in Action Quotes Best Gift a Man Can Give to Love One Nicholas Sparks Love Quotes Carl Gustav Jung Chemistry Quotes

 


6 Signs She Is The Love Of Your Life (For Men)

  1. She inspires and empowers you to be a better person each day. 
  2. Her emotion is contagious. When she is happy, you are happy and when she is sad, you are sad too.
  3. You are comfortable to be your true self when she is around.
  4. When you plan for your future, a big chunk of it is related to her
  5. She makes you feel appreciated and loved
  6. You have seen her at her worst and love her anyway

 

6 Signs He’s The Love Of Your Life (For Ladies)

  1. He is always there for you when you needed him
  2. He loves you for exactly who you are
  3. He put in the effort to show you that he cares about you
  4. He makes you feel respected and important
  5. You feel complete when he is with you
  6. He trusts you and is willing to give space when you need it

 

Signs you found your love of life to keep for the rest of your life 

A healthy relationship does not come easily but you can know for sure you have found the love of your life if you both:

  • Feel special, important, and confident because of each other
  • Always find time for each other
  • Trust each other and respect the other person’s privacy and space
  • Are genuinely happy and comfortable being together
  • Can share everything and grow together
  • Are willing to commit, to communicate, and to compromise each other

 


Can You Have More Than One Love Of Your Life

In the context of an intimate relationship, my answer would be generally no.

The meaning of love of your life is defined as the person you love the most in your life. Since he/she is the one you love the most, above all other human beings out there, thus there can only be one person, one love of your life at any one point in your life.

However, I do believe you can have different love of your life in different stages of life. For example, a young man lost the woman whom he loves deeply in an accident. After recovering from the sad past, he is able to love again and fall in love with another woman who he called the love of his life now. In this case, I would say the man has more than one love of his life, one before the accident, and another one after the accident. Hence, in different stages of life, you might have different love of your life. But, in general, at the same stage of life, there can only be one love of your life.

 


What Is The Real Meaning Of Love

According to GoodTherapy,  “Love is a complex set of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another person.”

 

What is LOML

LOML is the acronym for the love of my life. It is frequently used in text messaging.
For example, “Happy Valentine’s Day, you are the loml.”

 


Recommendation: How To Find The Love Of Your Life Faster

If dating or getting into a meaningful relationship does not come naturally to you, perhaps you can invest in a dating program.

 

Program For Women:

the love of your life for women

  • How To Captivate a man, make him fall in love and give you the world?
  • 5 things men crave that women don’t know about that create an unconscious connection with a man.
  • How to make a man instantly drop what he’s doing and listen to you whenever you’re upset.
  • How to use an unconscious trigger that disarms a man and makes him want to come closer to you.

Click here to learn more: The Women Man Adore

 

Program For Men:

how to tell someone she is the love of your life

If You’re Ready To Finally Discover How To Smoothly Escalate Your Conversations And Make Small Talk Sexy… Creating Conversations That Flow From Beginning To End… Create Attraction, Rapport, and Sexual Tension… Then check out the Make Small Talk Sexy program.

Click here to learn more: Make Small Talk Sexy

 

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31 Fun Things What To Do When Bored At Work

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What To Do When Bored At Work

Not sure what to do when bored at workI’ve got you covered!

This post shares about 31 things on what to do when you’re bored at work.

The list has been filtered to make sure that the suggestions are fun, creative, productive and good for self-improvement!

With such a huge list, I’m sure you can definitely find one thing or two which can solve your question on what to do if you are bored at work. 

31 Things To Do When You Are Bored At Work:

  • 12 Fun Things To Do When Bored At Work (Tip 1 – 12)
  • 9 Productive Things To Do When You Are Bored At Work (Tip 13 – 21)
  • 10 Self Improvement Things You Can Do If You’re Bored At Work (Tip 22-31)

 

Heads up: My post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through such links, I will be rewarded a small commission to buy ice cream, at no extra cost to you.


 

12 Fun Things – What To Do When Bored At Work

 

1) Collect Cool Desk Toys 

What is the best thing to do when you are bored? Of course, it is to play. Desk toys help to relieve stress, plus it is super fun to play with. Here are some of the popular desk toys that can help you to kill time.

  • Mini Bowling Game
  • Magnetic Levitation Toy
  • Classic Newtons Cradle Balance Balls
  • Liquid Timer
  • Mini Basketball
  • Magnets Building Blocks
  • Physics balancing toy
  • Metal Spinning Top

The list of desktop toys is endless… If you do not know what can you do while you are bored at work, then you should definitely get some desktop toys. You can also collect cute figures, assemble SD Gundam figures, etc. 

 

2) Show Off Cool Magic Tricks 

With the right tools and some practice, you can become an instant magician. Impress your colleagues with your magic coin or card tricks when you guys are bored as hell in the workplace. When they ask you to teach them the magic trick, make sure to ask them to pay for your lunch first before you reveal the secrets.

10 IMPOSSIBLE Coin Tricks Anyone Can Do

Recommendation: Master Mentalism – Learn Mentalism & Magic Tricks

 

3) Do Personality Test To Find Your Strength

Feel stuck in a boring job? Go ahead and do a personality test. It might reveal why do you feel bored at this job. In addition to that, knowing yourself better can help you to find a future job which truly fits you, so you will never be bored at work again.

2 Famous personality test you can try out are:

 

4) Kills Boredom At Work Instantly With Funny Jokes

Arm yourself with some funny jokes and share them with your colleagues when you guys feel bored at work.

Here are some funny jokes for you to read when you are bored:

Joke 1
Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine.”

Joke 2
“Can you please hold my hand?”A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?”
Son: “My name is Paul.”

Joke 3
Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things.
Doctor: Since when have you had this condition?
Patient: What condition?

Joke 4
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.

Joke 5
Wait for me honey, I’m just finishing my make-up.
You don’t need make-up, Jane.
Oh, Richard…. really? That is so sweet of you!
You need plastic surgery.

 Joke 6
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Joke 7
What’s the difference between BOOM! Aaaaargh! And Aaaaaargh! BOOM!?
The difference is whether you’re falling from the 1st or the 10th floor.

 

5) Watch Prank Videos Or Prank Your Colleagues

If you think it is evil to prank someone, you can choose to watch prank videos instead to kill time. It is proven that time flies faster when you watch prank videos.

Funny Pranks Compilation

 

6) Play Rubik’s Cube When Bored At Work

Challenge yourself to solve the Rubik’s cube in the shortest time possible. There are different varieties of Rubik’s cube available. Alternatively, you can also look at the wooden and metal brain teaser puzzle. Test how high your IQ is with these toys when you are bored at work without the internet.

Top 10 Hardest Rubik’s Cube To Solve While You are Bored

 

7) Time For Paper Games 

We used to play with paper a lot when we were bored in school. Now, even if we have grown up, playing the paper game can still bring us a lot of fun. When I’m bored at work, my favorite paper game is definitely origami.

Different types of paper game to kill time when bored at work:

  • Origami
  • Paper football
  • Trash basketball
  • Paper airplane
  • Jumping frog
  • Fortune teller

 

8) Listen To Your Favorite Music 

Some people love to sing along when their favorite pop song is playing, while some people only love to listen to instrumental music when they are bored. Music helps to change the vibe at the workspace. It can help you to become more relaxed or relax depending on what type of music you chose. 

If you are not sure what music to play while you are bored, you can try searching for terms like soothing jazz for work, bossa nova music, or relaxing bgm. 

Here are some of my favorite picks:

  • Two Steps From Hell (Epic music are super motivating)
  • Deep Focus Music – Binaural Beats Concentration Music
  • Melody of the night Shi Jin
  • Youtube channel: Hobbes Sakuga, Isaac Shepard

Everyone has a different preference when it comes to music. So, what is your favorite pick? What type of music do you listen to when you feel bored at work?

 

9) Computer Games

If you have a computer and the internet is available, then you can have even more fun because you can play some simple computer games when you are bored. I would suggest you go for the browser games without installation needed.

You can find plenty of online games at Kongregate, including:

  • Word games
  • Puzzles
  • Crosswords
  • Typing games
  • Card games
  • Sudoku
  • Tower defense games
  • Sports and racing games

 

10) Create A Vision Board

Work is a huge part of life. If you are feeling bored at the current work and do not know what to do, I would suggest you start designing the kind of life you really want to have. 

When you plan your vision board, you can look at the 7 big areas of your life, such as:

  • Mind and Emotions
  • Body 
  • Relationships 
  • Family
  • Business/Career
  • Money/Finances
  • Spirituality

You create a digital vision board by using Pinterest or choose to create a physical vision board by printing out pictures that resonate with you. 

Recommendation: Goal On Track – Build your vision board and set long term life goals

 

11) Plan A Short Getaway For This Weekend

If the work is so boring, why don’t you plan a weekend getaway that excites you?

Pick a place that speaks to you, consider your accommodations, invite travel buddies (if you want), add in some activities you want to do and have some fun this weekend. A short getaway is a brilliant choice to add some novelty to your life.

 

12) Reinvent Yourself From Head To Toe

Open up the abandoned shopping cart and look at the items that you haven’t purchase. Or, you can start adding some items you really want to have lately into your wishlist. Browse the new attire, new watches, new shoes that you would like to have. Become your own personal stylist, find inspiration, experiment with the new look and have some fun!

How to change your look and find your style


9 Productive Things To Do When You Are Bored At Work

 

13) Design The Perfect Productive Workspace 

If you are really bored at work, then you can choose to transform your working environment into a more comfortable space. It will help to increase your future working experience.

Design the perfect productive workspace

 

14) Organize Email Inbox

It is time to unsubscribe all the annoying newsletter which you never read, so you never have to mark them as read or trash them manually again. On the other hand, you can subscribe to some useful newsletters which are highly related to your personal interest or career. Repeatedly copying and pasting the same email response is a nightmare. Create a series of canned responses (template) to help you to deal with repetitive email tasks.

 

15) Desktop Cleanup During The Downtime

It is time to clear all the temporary files accumulated on your desktop. If they are useless, drag them into the recycle bin immediately. For useful files, organize them into different folders, so you can retrieve them easily next time.

 

16) Clean Up The Desk

Wipe away the dust behind the printers and get rid of the old sticky notes on the wall. Wipe your laptop screen, keyboard, and get rid of unwanted things to make sure your desk is super clean.

 

17) Digitize The Document

Scan and digitize the documents on hand and save them on online storage like Dropbox or Google Drive. This way, you can retrieve information easily wherever you go, plus it clears up a lot of physical space and make the workspace more roomy and neat.

 

18) Backup Your Data 

It’s pretty straightforward. Get an external hard disk and backup all your data every 6 months. The laptop can be stolen or crash without any warnings, so it is better to make a copy of the data now.

 

19) Get All The Frequently-Use Forms Ready 

Print out a few copies of frequently used forms and organize them neatly in the drawers, so you are always prepared for appointments or work.

 

20) Decorate The Workspace And Kill Boredom

Add a vision board, a plant, or some motivational quotes on your desk. It can help to make the environment more lively and keep you motivated at work. 

Motivational quotes

Success Quotes

Strive for Progress

 

21) Systemize Or Automate Work Tasks

Use Zapier or IFTTT to automate some unavoidable repetitive tasks. This way, you can spend more time and brain juice on highly challenging tasks instead of small boring repetitive tasks each day. You can also create a simple workflow on Trello to monitor the progress of projects on hand. 


 

10 Self Improvement Things You Can Do If You’re Bored At Work

 

22) Perform Personal SWOT Analysis

Perform a SWOT analysis can help you to better understand yourself, so you can choose to work on the tasks you are good at and delegate/automate the rest.

According to Skills You NeedSWOT analysis is a way of looking at your situation by identifying:

  • Strengths, or those areas where you have an advantage over others, or some unique resources to exploit;
  • Weaknesses, or areas where you may be weaker than others and may find that others can do better than you;
  • Opportunities, or possibilities that you can take advantage of to help you achieve your goals and ambitions; 
  • Threats, or things that may prevent you from making a profit or achieving your goals.

 

23) Long Term Career Planning

Where do you want to be 1 year, 3 years or 5 years from now? List down everything you need in order to get to that place.

For example:

  • what kind of skills sets you must have,
  • what kind of knowledge/experience you must acquire,
  • what kind of network you need to have, and most importantly,
  • why do you want to be there (how does it serve you)

Once you know what you want in the long term, you can update your resume or maybe search for a better job that excites you.

Recommendation: The Ultimate Guide To Job Interview Questions

 

24) Acquire New Knowledge And Skillset (Work Related)

If you feel bored at the current job, why not upgrade yourself so you can switch to a more challenging position later? List down the knowledge and skillsets which you would like to have and can help you to outperform at work. Subscribe to magazines, attend courses and programs, go to conferences and forums are simple things you can do to propel your career.

 

25) Learn For The Sake Of Fun (Personal Interest)

Always stay hungry, stay foolish and stay curious. You can develop a new passion or dive right back in the long-forgotten passion which you have in the past. Jump out of your comfort zone and start learning things which you have always wanted to do but you have given yourselves too many excuses in the past. It is time to improve yourself.

Avoid the validation trap, forget about how others will see you, just learn whatever interests you the most, be ready to make mistakes along the way, have a quick laugh, and then keep moving forward so you can be at where you want to be one day. Reignite the passion in life through learning. 

Here are some cool things you can learn:

  • Speed reading 
  • Memory palace technique
  • Digital marketing
  • Stock trading/ investment
  • New language and culture
  • Cooking and bakery
  • Coding/ programming
  • Photoshop
  • Musical instrument
  • Psychology
  • Dancing
  • Sports
  • Drawing

Recommendation: Best Online Learning Platform – Udemy

 

26) Practice Meditation For Mindfulness

If you are bored or tired at work, meditation not only can help you to release stress and anxiety, but it can also help you to gain better clarity and elevate overall mindfulness. Meditation is proven to be beneficial to our mind and body. Plus, it is easy to do and no tools are needed to start. 

Recommendation: Seven Minute Mindfulness

 

27) Yoga Or Simple Exercise

Take a break, stretch your body a little bit, so you can get into the optimum form again. You can do simple yoga or simple exercise to relieve stiffness after staying in the same position for too long while working. 

Stretching exercise that does not require a lot of space.

 

Yoga During Office Break

do yoga when bored at work

Recommendation: Yoga Burn Challenge

 

28) Watch Ted Talks

Watching TED talks not only give you a motivational boost at work but also in personal life. Some of these TED talks are very thought-provoking while others can help you to shift your entire life perspective in a good way.

The happy secret to better work | Shawn Achor

 

29) Epic Goal Setting

Do you feel like you are sleepwalking through life and the current work is so boring that you would cry? Perhaps there’s something better waiting for you to achieve in life but you just haven’t really make a plan for it yet.

In that case, you need to start goal setting and plan for a future that will truly excite you. If you have the right goals, you will be looking forward to living each day to the fullest.

The major steps of goal setting:

  1. Create SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound)
  2. Break each big or long term goal into smaller sub-goals or milestones.
  3. List out the tasks you need to do to progress from one sub-goals to the next one.
  4. Track your progress and make sure you are keeping up with the schedule well.

If you want to do a powerful goal setting for your life, you can check out Goals On Track.

goal setting when bored at working

Goals On Track can help you to:

  1. Set long term S.M.A.R.T goals
  2. Break down big goals into smaller sub-goals
  3. Add tasks under reach sub-goals and support recurring tasks to repeat on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
  4. Track goal progress by sub-goals and by tasks
  5. Track time spent on tasks with timers
  6. Create your vision board
  7. Keep a journal or notebook for your goals
  8. Build new habits
  9. Get interactive stats charts showing goals achieved, task completed, habits checked and time usage.

Plus, it comes with goal templates. You can jump-start your next goal with these action-plan ready templates right away.

Goal template example: Start your own business in 6 months 

goal setting when you are bored at work

Recommendation: Goals On Track (Goal setting and goal management software for high achievers)

 

30) Rewire Your Brain With Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to overcome some self-sabotaging or negative thoughts to see positive changes in life.

With positive affirmations, you can:

  • Elevate your self-esteem
  • Reduce and control negative emotions (anger, anxiety, frustration)
  • Avoid procrastination
  • Boost productivity
  • Get rid of a bad habit
  • Achieve your personal goals faster and with more confidence

There are many positive affirmations on youtube.

Alternatively, you can create a custom affirmation audio with software like MindZoom.
Better than hypnosis

 

MindZoom allows you to:

  • Custom select the affirmations you want to send subliminally
  • Mix the subliminal affirmations with any music you love
  • Add Binaural or Isochronic beats to improve your brain’s receptiveness to the message
  • Download the audio at high quality, so you can listen to it wherever you go

Recommendation: MindZoom – reprogram your mind automatically by using thousands of positive affirmations.

 

31) Manifest Abundance In Life

The Law of Attraction states that we’re creating our reality by the thoughts we are focusing on in our minds, either consciously or subconsciously. With that saying, if you choose to focus on sending out positive things every day in your life, you will then automatically attract more positive things back into your life. 

You can learn Law of Attraction at Manifestation Miracle
learning when you feel boring at work

Recommendation: Manifestation Miracle -manifest all of the wealth, abundance, love and happiness the Universe has to offer

 

Inspiration Boost - Inspiration To Become A Better You

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others – Be Confident & Feel Loved

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Don’t Compare Yourself With Others

Do not compare yourself with others because you never need to. 

In this post, I will share 7 best tips on how to stop comparing yourself with others, so that you can stop doubting your self-worth, be highly confident, and fall in love with yourself again.

What you will learn:

  • Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
  • How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
  • How Do You Become Confident
  • How To Love Yourself And Be Loved
  • Quotes on Be Yourself & Don’t Compare To Others

Heads up: My post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through such links, I will be rewarded a small commission to buy ice cream, at no extra cost to you.


 

Wake-Up Call
2 Biggest Reasons: Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

 

Reason #1: It Destroys Your Self-Image

Upward comparison means we compare ourselves to someone who we believe is better than us. Such a comparison is a double-edged sword. If we use it wrongly, it can ruin our self-image (which is the foundation of self-esteem). And, with a bad self-image, you will interpret the external world wrongly and buy into lies that you are incompetent or you’re not good enough. I will show you how to reverse this and regain confidence in life again. 

Reason #2: It Eliminates Your Motivation To Grow

On the other hand, the downward comparison takes place when we compare ourselves to people who are worse off than us. While it can help us to feel better at ourselves, a downward comparison might also make us become over-optimistic and take up challenges that are beyond our competence. It might also make us into thinking that we are already good enough and withdraw the motivation to grow. The key is always to know how to be balanced, so it empowers you and makes you a better person.


 

7 Best Tips: How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Do not compare yourself to others because everyone has a different life journey. Just like Oscar Wilde has said “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken”. I have laid down my best tips to help you to replace the habits of comparing yourself to others below. I hope that you can live an empowering life onwards.

Oscar Wilde, Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Self Confidence,

 

Tip #1 Find Your True Calling And Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

If you know what you truly want in life, you won’t be bothered by what others are going through in their life because it has become irrelevant. 

Have you heard of Doctors Without Borders?

It is a non-profitable international organization. Doctors and journalists who joined it strive to provide medical aid where it’s needed most. And, the place that medical aid is needed most is often places hit by war, epidemics, famine, and disasters. Not only the volunteers have to adjust to unfamiliar food, culture, handle extreme weather conditions, tolerate low standards of living (including living in just a tent for an extended period), but they also have to sacrifice their family time, experience a high level of stress and risk their life. They are people with solid living purpose and mission.

Do you think they are keen to learn what other people are posting on Facebook every day? No, they don’t, their mind is occupied with a different set of priorities and they do not care where Bob has traveled last week, who is getting married, and what car did Mary just buy recently.

Hence, just find yourself and be yourself. You are meant to be different, so you can serve yourself and the world in your way. Write down what you truly want in life and start making an effort to make it happen. When you know what do you want in life, you won’t be bothered by what others are chasing after anymore. 

Bruce Lee Famous Motivational Quotes

 

Tip #2 Discover Your Unique Strengths

Each one of us has a different set of strengths and weaknesses. You must be aware of this, so you won’t do yourself an injustice.

Just like fishes are good at swimming, but if you compare their ability to climb a tree with the monkeys, you will conclude that fishes are useless. But, is that the truth? What about you? Are you the fish who have been comparing your tree climbing capability with your monkey friends all these while? 

One of the best ways to discover your unique strengths is by learning what’s your personalities. See who you are, what you are naturally good at, and then develop relevant strengths from there. 

How to Find Your Personality And Strengths

You can find your strengths and personality via Myers & Briggs’ personality test. There are 16 personality types under the personality test, and you can find yours via Truity.com for free.

Truity.Com 

do not compare yourself to others find your strength

Once you have finished the personality test, you will be shown the metrics telling you the type of your personality and you can learn more about it. As mentioned, there are 16 personality types.

For example, my personality type is INTJ (Introverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judging), also known as the mastermind.

be yourself be confident

Overview: INTJ is the third rarest type in the population, making up only 2% of the general population. They are analytical problem-solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas. They have a talent for seeing possibilities for improvement, whether at work, at home, or in themselves.

You can also learn the following details about your personality type:

  • How common is your personality type?
  • Your Values and Motivations
  • How Others See you
  • Your Hobbies and Interests
  • Strengths and weaknesses
  • Growth and development
  • You at work
  • Top careers for your personality type
  • Careers to avoid
  • You as part of a team
  • You as leader
  • Relationship in love
  • You as parents
  • Communication style

Click Here To Start Your Personality Test – Free

The coolest thing about doing a personality test at Truity.com

The personality test can help you to discover the strengths you never know you have. Before doing the test, you only see the other’s strengths which you do not have. But after doing the test, you will know that not having the same strengths does not make you any less of a person. It only means you are just having a different set of strengths which others don’t. So, don’t compare yourself to others. For example, I’m an introvert, and being an introvert, I enjoy different things and have different strengths compared to extrovert. 

introvert strength do not compare yourself to others in life

Recommendation: Truity.com

 

Tip #3 Boost The Happy Hormone

The most common happy hormones in our body are Dopamine, Serotonin, and Endorphins. They are responsible to keep us motivated, self-confident and happy. Lack of it, we will experience fatigue and low self-esteem. 

How to increase happy hormone in our body?

  1. Consume the right foodFood like bananas, eggs, seaweed, fish, egg, and chicken provide us the essential amino acids (tyrosine and tryptophan) to produce the happy hormones. So, stop eating junk food, control your diet, and you feel overall elevated.
  2. Exercise – Physical exercise helps to increase the level of dopamine and it helps to improve your mood and keep you excited. This is why we always feel happier after exercise even though we might be reluctant to start exercise in the beginning.
  3. Listen to music you enjoy – The study has shown that listening to music that you love will make your brain release more dopamine.

 

Tip #4 Develop Your Passion

Every one pursues different things in life, so don’t compare yourself to others. Once you have found your passion, be sure to find time to practice and improve it. Watching yourself growing each day helps to boost confidence. In addition to that, if you have a passion, you will be focusing on what you love all the time and you will automatically stop comparing yourself to others.

There are a few ways to develop your passion:

1) Join a community 

There are forums, Meetup groups, facebook groups, and organizations that you can join to make new friends and to develop your passion. If you love photography, then join a photography club and learn how to improve your skills while making a new connection. The meaningful and non-competitive connection will help you to develop a stronger passion.

2) Take courses online

There are plenty of free and paid courses online. You can watch Youtube videos improve your passion related skills and knowledge. Alternatively, if you want to experience in-depth learning, you can also go with the paid learning route like Udemy.

How To Find Your Passion And Build Self-esteem

There are 2 simple ways to figure out what is your passion. 

The first way is to hunt the bookstores and dwell in the library. When you found yourself getting lost in time, mark down the category of book, and you know you have found your passion. I love to visit bookstores whenever I go to the shopping mall and I often spend most of my time at the personal development and marketing section of the bookstores. And, yes, that’s my passion in life. What’s yours?

Another way to discover what you love is to visit sites like Udemy, browse through the main categories and see what catches your eyes. You know you have found your passion when you keep digging deeper at a particular category of courses.

 

Tip #5 Count Your Bless via Gratitude Meditation

Stop looking and comparing with the others, it is time to shift your focus back to your own life and be grateful for what you have. Gratitude meditation is the type of meditation where you focus on expressing gratitude for the things in your life. It is a very simple form of meditation because you just have to relax and reflect on all the things and people you are grateful for in life. 

Meditation Mastery Secrets

If you want to feel greater peace of mind, clarity of thought, creativity & connectivity via meditation, you can check out Meditation Mastery Secrets. Meditation Mastery Secrets is created by Jason Stephenson who is a meditation expert with more than 600k followers on Youtube, and co-author with Jack Canfield on “Success Mastery” and a life lover. His program is simple and effective. You can check out the testimonials on his page below.

Recommendation: Meditation Mastery Secrets – find a deep & powerful transformation via meditation

 

Tip #6 Replace Social Media Apps So You Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

You can’t stop comparing yourself with others if the core apps you are using are only social media apps. Hence, the best solution is to replace social media apps with other productive apps. When you are bored or on travel, the first thing you do after picking up the phone is to check out some productive apps instead of social media apps. This way, you do not compare yourself to others automatically. If you want to go a little bit more extreme, you can consider removing some of the social media apps or limit the time you spend on social media apps every day.

Productive Apps:

  • Trello – set goals, track progress
  • Evernote – note-taking
  • RescueTime – provide time management insights
  • Duolingo – learn a new language
  • Udemy – learning
  • Ted – learning
  • Youtube – learning 

 

Tip #7 Rewire Your Brain Via Positive Self-talk

Self-talk not only influence the way we think and act, but it also shapes our overall personality. If the way you talk to yourself is highly negative, you will build a negative lens which through it, you only see the negative side of the eternal world. In other words, you become your own enemy. 

In the book Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz found that his plastic surgery patients often had expectations that were not satisfied with the surgery. For example, a very charming person would still go for plastic surgery thinking that he is not good-looking enough, but the reality is that he is just having a bad self-image.  On the other hand, while people are afraid of scars that can ruin their pretty face, a man can be proud of having scars on the face instead because he sees it as a sign of masculinity. This shows that how we interpret things is super important as it can influence we way we see ourselves and change our lives subsequently.

If we constantly focus on or mention any negative statement about ourselves, we can belittle our self-image and ruin our self-confidence. So, make sure you are doing the opposite, always see yourself at your best, be conscious when having an inner talk. Make sure it is a positive one.

Recommendation: MindZoom Affirmations – reprogram your mind with thousands of positive affirmation


 

Ted Talk: Don’t Compare Yourself To Others



How Can You Become Confident

When you have enough confidence, you do not compare yourself to others because you no longer need validation from others and they will no longer be your benchmark.

No matter where you are right now, I can help you to develop self-confidence. I believe low self-esteem is a learned process which means that no one is born with low self-esteem. Instead, you’re having a low self-esteem today because you have trained yourself to be good at it without even knowing it all this while. And, this is good news, because it means that you can unlearn it and relearn new pattern which can help you to achieve higher self-esteem.

4 Key Steps To Become More Confident:

  1. Pick a passion – choose something you love. It does not matter if you have never done it or learn it before. Just pick something you are highly interested in.
  2. Plan out the learning milestone – break the learning process into multiple milestones. Make sure the first few milestones are super easy to achieve and the level of difficulty must not increase too much from one milestone to the next one.
  3. Start practicing and learning – learn from trusted sources and start practicing.
  4. Control inner talk – Not only you have to practice the new skill you are trying to learn, but you must also pay close attention to how you talk to yourself. It can be very hard to monitor your inner talk in the beginning but with some practice, you will get used to it very soon. Whenever a negative self-talks slip into your mind, you must slow down and restructure it so it empowers you. External events do not have a meaning until we give it one. You have low self-esteem because you are consistently giving the wrong meaning to the external events and yourself. Now, you have to be conscious of it and start to learn how to replace the bad self-talk into a positive one. It is a new habit you need to build.

If you follow these 4 steps deliberately, soon you will find yourself having higher self-esteem for a few reasons:

  • Reason no.1: you are busy working on your passion, so you do not have time for comparison, and when there’s no comparison, you will not feel less of a person. 
  • Reason no.2: when you have a passion, working on it helps to produce the happy hormones. Not only it elevates your mood but it also helps to improve motivation and self-confidence.
  • Reason no.3: when you keep practicing, you will grow and become better at it. Your mind will start to think “hey, I have something which I can be good at” This helps to plant the first positive seed in your mind. 
  • Reason No.4: when you start practicing self-talk, you are watering the seed of confidence which you have planted earlier, and it will start to blossom. And, that’s how you develop self-confidence. First, you plant the positive seed, and then you take good care of it until it is full blossom by controlling your inner talk.

During the process, learning how to replace negative self-talk with a positive one is the key.

For example, when your mind says “this is too difficult for me, maybe I’m just not fit for it”, immediately doubt it by saying “Is this really that difficult? It can’t be that difficult. Others can do it, so I totally can do it too. I just need to practice for a few more rounds.” Did you see that?  The first negative thoughts demotivate you while the second thoughts motivate you to keep moving forward.

As long as you do not stop practicing, you will eventually get it. And then, your mind will say “I knew I can do it. I just need some practice to unlock my full potential, that’s all” Your mind will reinforce the idea that “you can do it”, “you are good at it” and this slowly builds up your confidence. When you become better at it and start receiving praise from family and friends, it will further reinforce the idea that you are good at it and this helps to increase your self-confidence.

It is an upward spiral and you will feel more empowered each day. Then, you can expand your confidence in this area to the other areas of your life. This is how you master self-confidence. 


 

How To Stop Comparing With Others And Feel Loved

If you want to be loved by others, first you need to believe that you are worthy to be loved and you have to love yourself first. Otherwise, you will subconsciously avoid love from others and yourself because you think you do not deserve it.

 

Step 1: Make A Decision To Be Loved

Put your hand on your heart, and say “I decided I want to love myself more and I want to invite more love into my life. I’m enough. I’m complete. And, now, I allow myself and others to start loving me.” 

 

Step 2: Forgive

Once you have done the above. It is time for forgiveness to take place. A new future cannot unfold itself until you let go of the past. It can be a bitter process for you, but if you want to be truly free, you have to make a firm decision to let go of the past. 

Letting go of the past is not easy for everyone because we are afraid of losing our own identity and we need to face the fear of uncertainty at the same time.

If you have been hurt by someone, especially those you love, the sense of betrayal can be so strong that you can no longer believe in anyone, let alone believing that they can love you by heart. Also, you might find it hard to let go of the past because you have been clinging to it for so long. You know nothing else besides anger and hatred which you become good at it because you have been practicing it for years. 

On the other hand, if you have hurt someone including yourself, you might feel extremely guilty about yourself, and think that a person like you does not deserve to be loved. Either way, you have not been practicing love and to be loved for so long that you have even forgotten how it can be done. But no worries, I will teach you how to let go of the past.

To practice forgiveness, give yourself permission to release the pain from your heart, and allow the pain to flow to a piece of paper. Write down what has happened that causes you unable to love and to be loved. If the reason is valid, allow yourself to get angry about it, and then when you calmer, ask yourself, “Is it time to let go now, so I can be free again?” You can’t change the past but you still have the present and the future. You certainly do not want to spend the rest of your life trapped in the past. 

When you are ready to let go, again, put your hand on your heart, and read this slowly “I now give myself full permission to let go of the past, so I can be free, so I can love and be loved again”

Quotes of Letting Go

 

Step 3: Embrace The New You

Start learning how to love and be loved again. For people who have been there with you whenever you need them, let them know that you appreciate and love them. You can always express your feelings by writing if you think it is hard to express it verbally. When people give you their love, learn to accept it, and if it’s appropriate, you can return it with a simple hug. Reward people for loving you, not reject them. Slowly, you will get used to it, and to love and to be loved will become second nature for you again. It takes time to heal but if you allow it, it will happen


 

7 Quotes: Be Yourself & Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes be yourself don't compare to others

Lao Zi Respect Quotes be yourself don't compare yourself to others

Will Smith Quotes About Be Yourself don't compare yourself to others

be yourself and no need to compare yourself with others

John Mason Quotes don't compare yourself with the others

Be Yourself Quotes

Mark Twain Quotes

 

 

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How Many Emotions Are There – 27 Emotions List

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How Many Emotions Are There

Answer: There are 27 human emotions according to the research done by Alan S. Cowen and Dacher Keltner.

Quoted from the research article published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS):
“Using statistical methods to analyze reports of emotional states elicited by 2,185 emotionally evocative short videos with richly varying situational content, we uncovered 27 varieties of reported emotional experience.”



What Are The 27 Human Emotions?

how many emotions are there 27

List of 27 emotions:

  1. admiration
  2. adoration
  3. aesthetic appreciation
  4. amusement
  5. anger
  6. anxiety
  7. awe
  8. awkwardness
  9. boredom
  10. calmness
  11. confusion
  12. craving
  13. disgust
  14. empathic pain
  15. entrancement
  16. excitement
  17. fear
  18. horror
  19. interest
  20. joy
  21. nostalgia
  22. relief
  23. romance
  24. sadness
  25. satisfaction
  26. sexual desire
  27. surprise

 


How The Study Was Conducted

This result is obtained after a demographic diverse group of 853 men and women viewed a random sampling of videos online which was meant to evoke a broad range of emotions.

The themes of the 2185 videos selected for the study include births and babies, death and suffering, risky stunts, natural disaster, spiders and snakes, and an awkward handshake.

27 emotions according to research

During the study, the participants were separated into three groups. 

The first group watched a sequence of videos and then freely report their emotional response to each of 30 video clips.

The second group ranked each video according to the intensity of admiration, adoration, aesthetic appreciation, amusement, anger, anxiety, awe, awkwardness, boredom, calmness, confusion, contempt, craving, disappointment, disgust, empathic pain, entrancement, envy, excitement, fear, guilt, horror, interest, joy, nostalgia, pride, relief, romance, sadness, satisfaction, sexual desire, surprise, sympathy, and triumph.

The third group rated the video based on dichotomies (positive vs negative), such as dominance vs submissiveness, excitement vs calmness.

 

Conclusion Of Study:

The general conclusion is that participants shared the same or similar emotional response to each of the videos, and this allows the researchers to extract information and identify 27 different human emotions.

“We found that 27 distinct dimensions, not six, were necessary to account for the way hundreds of people reliably reported feeling in response to each video,” said study senior author Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychology professor and expert on the science of emotions.

This has opened our eyes because previously, the theory of basic emotions which was introduced by Paul Ekman only outlines that there are only 6 basic human emotions, such as anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise. 

After the research above, we know what there are 27 distinct human emotions. This allows us to understand and to study human emotions more accurately in the future. 



How Many Positive Emotion Are There?

how many positive emotions list

According to research done by Psychologist, Barbara Fredrickson, there are 10 positive emotions.
Credit: Emotion. 2009 Jun; 9(3): 361–368.

List of positive emotions:

  1. Amusement
  2. Awe
  3. Compassion
  4. Contentment
  5. Gratitude
  6. Hope
  7. Interest
  8. Joy
  9. Love
  10. Pride

 

How Many Negative Emotions Are There?

how many negative emotions list

Also, according to the research done by Dr.  Fredrickson, there are 8 negative emotions.
Credit: Emotion. 2009 Jun; 9(3): 361–368.

List of negative emotions:

  1. Anger
  2. Contempt
  3. Disgust
  4. Embarrassment
  5. Fear
  6. Guilt
  7. Sadness
  8. Shame 


Quotes On Emotion:

emotion quotes

happy quotes


 

Ted Talk: You Aren’t At The Mercy Of Your Emotions



How Many Basic Emotions Are there?

American psychologist Dr. Robert Plutchik proposed the Wheel of Emotions and suggests that there are 8 primary emotions that serve as the foundation for all other emotions.

According to him, primary emotional color can be overlapped or combined to form the secondary emotional colors. For example, a combination of joy and anticipation can form optimism, while joy and trust can combine to be love

List of basic emotions:

  1. Joy
  2. Sadness
  3. Trust 
  4. Disgust
  5. Fear
  6. Anger
  7. Surprise
  8. Anticipation

The Wheel of Emotions:

how many basic emotions human have

Each primary emotion has a polar opposite. 

For example:

  • Joy is the opposite of sadness.
  • Fear is the opposite of anger.
  • Anticipation is the opposite of surprise.
  • Disgust is the opposite of trust.


How Many Emotions Are There In Inside Out?

There are 5 types of emotions in Inside Out.

They are joy, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust.

how many emotions in inside out



How To Control Emotions To Live An Empowering Life:

1) Acknowledge Your Emotion

If you want to change the emotions that have negatively impacted you on a daily basis, the first thing you must do is to be true to yourself and accept the fact that the emotion is influencing your life. Identify what is the real emotion that you want to change. No one likes to admit having negative emotions, but if you want to be totally free from the negative emotion, you have got to be very honest with yourself. Put it down on a piece of paper, what are the external events that trigger the negative emotion, what is your thinking pattern, and what kind of emotion is created? 

For example: 

External event: My girlfriend is talking to another guy or having fun with her friends

Internal thinking pattern: She likes the other person more than me, that’s why she enjoys spending her time with the others instead of just me. Soon, she will think that I’m boring and she’ll leave me. I must stop her from mixing with other people, so she can’t compare the others with me and I will become her only source of happiness.

Emotion: I feel jealous and angry at her in the beginning,  but then I know what’s really happening is, I’m angry towards myself because I think I have failed to be funny and interesting enough to make her just want to stick with me.

 

2) Accept The Responsibility:

If you want to stop the negative emotions from ruining your life further, you must be willing to take responsibility for your own emotions. Only then, you can own the power to make changes in life. Remember, we can’t control the external event but we do have full control over our emotions. You should master your emotions, not the other way around. 

 

3) Make A Change

There are 3 major factors which influence our behavior, the way we act. The first one is the external event or the trigger, the second one is our thinking pattern, and the third one is our emotion.

For external events or the trigger:
You can choose to change your environment, which subsequently, changes the inputs to your brain and trigger a different set of thinking patterns, emotions and ultimately your behavior. 

For example, you are feeling depressed about your body shape. Instead of joining your friends for a food trip, you can go to the gym room and start working out. When you see other people are working hard, you will be more motivated to build a healthy body shape too. When you receive positive energy from your surroundings, you will tend to have positive thoughts which help to elevate your mood and emotions. This way, you are more likely to act positively too. 

For internal thinking:
Most of the time, we could not change the external events, but we can definitely control the thinking pattern when it happens. Remember, the external event does not have a meaning until we give it one, and how you will feel (emotions) is largely affected by how you think.

For example, someone hit your car by accident. If the first thing that slips into your mind is “I could not believe this. How dare he hits my car. He should be scolded for causing me trouble”, then the emotion you will have in split seconds, is anger. On the other hand, if the first thought you have is “I’m so lucky that I’m didn’t hurt in this accident. I should check if he is safe too. I wonder if he has kids in his car. I hope everything is fine”, then the emotion would be a positive one which is empathy. Having different thoughts will give you different emotions and then trigger different behavior.  That’s why I think controlling your internal dialogue is the no.1 key factor to change your emotions and your behavior.

For Emotions:
This is the feeling we have when an external event (trigger) happens, and it is heavily influenced by our internal thinking pattern (inner talk). In general, emotions are the by-product of our thought process. However, emotions can also be influenced by other factors such as the food we consume and our physiology. If we consume healthy food like chicken, eggs, seaweed, bananas, we will have sufficient amino acids to build happy hormones like dopamine and serotonin, which will help to elevate our overall mood. 

 

4) Learning New Behaviour

As discussed above, if you have a positive thinking process, most likely you will also have a positive emotion. However, having a positive emotion does not mean that you are going to behave or act positively. You will have to learn a new set of behavior to replace the old negative one, then only you can see changes in your life.

For example, a father loves his son very much. But due to the way he was taught and treated by his own parents, he does not know how to express love. He thinks that loving someone means he has to be very strict, harsh and push the person to become the very best version of himself. In this case, the emotion is love (positive) but the negative behavior will not earn him any respect from his son, especially in this millennial age. He definitely needs to learn a new set of behavior, like giving praise, hug, and convey messages in a more gentle manner, etc. This way, the way he loves will match the way how his son perceives love. This will help to improve their overall relationship.

On your route to master your emotions, sometimes it is fine to detach yourself from external events or people around you. Remember, your life journey is yours, so just be yourself and do not compare yourself with others too much.


 

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  • Create an Authentic Sense of Purpose
  • Set Yourself Up For Long-Term Success
  • Attract Abundance
  • Live Your Best Life Possible

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7 Characteristics Of An Introvert (Free Personality Test)

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Characteristics Of An Introvert

One of the major characteristics of an introvert is they pay more attention to inner feelings by default rather than external inputs or stimulations. Contrary to belief, being an introvert does not necessarily mean that the person is shy or not good at socializing. Introversion is different from shyness or social anxiety.

People often view introversion and extraversion as two extreme polarized opposites. If a person is not labeled as an introvert, then he or she is considered as an extrovert. However, the truth is that introversion and extraversion are actually on a spectrum and they are not mutually exclusive. In real life, most people are lying in the middle of the spectrum instead of the end of the spectrum. Hence, when a person is known as an introvert, we understand it as he or she inclines to lean towards introversion more than extraversion.


 

Who Is Considered As An Introvert

Many researchers believe that there are 5 core dimensions of personality traits. This “big five personality traits” have a brilliant acronym of OCEAN (Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism)

Within the extraversion theory, people are who are low in extraversion are categorized as an introvert.

Introverts are more reserved people, tend to focus more on inner feelings and thoughts rather than looking for external stimulation. Unlike extroverts who feel energized around other people, introverts have to expend energy in social situations. This is why introverts often feel that social occasions like party or gathering are energy-draining and they need a period of solitude (me time) to recharge.


 

7 Signs You Are An Introvert

There are a few common signs you can use to learn if you or people you know are introverts. 

1) Prefer Solitude
An introvert likes to spend time pursuing things or hobbies that he enjoys alone. These can be things like reading a good book, exploring an interesting topic on Youtube, or have a small relaxing walk in the garden. Spending time alone allows introverts to recollect themselves after social activities and be fully recharged. If you enjoy “me time” a lot as it helps you to connect deeper with yourself and help you in self-reflection, then you might be an introvert. 

2) Social Events Drain Energy From You
Unlike extroverts who gain energy by interacting with people, introverts have their energy drained from social occasions. This is why introverts often feel super exhausted after spending an extended time with others. They like to create time and space to be alone immediately after social events. Another difference between introverts and extroverts is that when it comes to socializing events, introverts like to spend quality time with a close group of friends who they are already familiar with, while extroverts enjoy starting a new conversation and making new friends. If you expend energy instead of gaining energy from social events, this might suggest that you are an introvert. 

Research shows that people with a higher level of extraversion respond differently to dopamine, a chemical in the reward circuitry of your brain. Extroverts get a jolt of satisfaction or energy from social interactions because of the chemical. On the other hand, the introverts feel overstimulated.

3) Social Circle Is Smaller But Higher Quality
It is a common misconception that introverts do not like to interact with other people. While social events can be energy-draining for them, introverts could still enjoy spending some quality time with a close group of friends. Just like playing badminton, it is energy-draining, yet we can still love and enjoy it very much. 

Unlike extroverts, introverts have a smaller group of friends because they tend to pick their buddies more carefully. Their social circle may be smaller but their friendship is often more significant compared to the extroverts. Also, introverts do not like to interact with a large group of people. It is too much for them. They prefer to have a deeper and more meaningful conversation with just one or two people at the same time.

If you have a small yet very close group of friends, it is a good indicator that you are an introvert.

4) Independent Thinker
Not only introverts are highly aware of their thinking process and emotions, but they also seek to understand it better. They like to spend quality alone for self-reflection and to discover more about themselves. And, this is why they tend to have greater insights about themselves, including who they are, what motivates them, and what do they want in life. 

They often spend time to learn why they think, feel and act in a certain way. Such a self-examining and self-understanding process gives them plenty of energy and they enjoy doing it very much. They analyze things that happen in life and themselves a lot and they also like to form their insights, definition or opinions for the things they explore. This makes them a good independent thinker.

If you like to analyze your thinking process a lot, like to form your definition or opinions for things in life instead of directly accepting an opinion from the others, you are most probably an introvert.

5) Speak Less But Impactful
Introverts are frequently defined as a person who is quiet and reserved. However, being an introvert does not mean the person is shy or lack of social skills. 

You will be surprised that introverts can be a very good conversationalist if they find the topic interesting and meaningful. In general, they just do not like superficial and needless small chat. They would rather keep quiet and observe rather than talking about things they do not genuinely interested in. 

Some people like to speak first, and think second. It is by expressing, they slowly conclude their opinions on things or themselves. However, introverts do the other way around. They like to think and to form an opinion first before adding something to the conversation. This is why they speak less but their ideas are often right to the point and impactful. If you found yourself often doing the latter, there’s a good chance you’re an introvert.

 6) Tend To Cut Down Inputs And Stimulation
According to Eysenck’s theory, introverts have a naturally high level of arousal. This means that they are more alert and tend to take in more information from the environment. What is normal for others can be overstimulation for them. This is why they often need to retreat from social events to a quiet environment to process and reflect on the inputs received.

Unlike extroverts, introverts are easier to get distracted. If there are a lot of activities going on around them, too many inputs from the environment can make them feel hectic and overwhelmed. This is why they tend to cut down larger social events like parties and dislike being the center of attention. If you find yourself often avoid social situations that are too happening, it could be a sign you are an introvert.

7) Creative & Self Suffice
Due to nature, introverts prefer to think and process a lot. It is the same when it comes to working. This allows them to form their own opinions on how the work should be performed, tracked and evaluated. This is why they are very self-sufficient and require much less supervision than extroverts. 

Besides that, because introverts tend to think independently and look for answers from within first, their ideas are usually more unique, innovative, and not easily influenced by external factors. The things that introverts enjoy can be writing, programming, drawing, or other things that allow them to reflect their inner thoughts in their creation.


 

What Causes Introversion and extraversion?

The main reason why a person has higher introversion compared to the others is that they have a naturally higher arousal level. 

This arousal level is being controlled by the reticular activating system (RAS) located in the brainstem. The main function of RAS is to regulate our conscious activity and controlled how much inputs we take in while we are awake.

According to Hans Eysenck’s arousal theory of extraversion, introverts have a higher level of arousal by default. They tend to take in more information from the environment and this can easily cause overstimulation. Hence, they prefer a quiet environment to reduce stimulation and to process acquired information. 

The concept is simple. Just like people who are sensitive to light tend to lower down the brightness on their phone and laptop screen; introverts who are more alert compared to others tend to lower down the stimulation they receive and prefer to spend more time alone.


 

Introvert Vs. Extrovert

 

Characteristics of An Introvert:

  • Enjoy Solitude
  • Dislike being the center of attention
  • Prefer one-on-one relationships
  • Think before they speak
  • Not as talkative
  • Recharge by spending time alone
  • Like to do self-reflection and self-discovery
  • Like to work in quiet or low stimulation environments
  • Self suffice and highly independent
  • Can be seen as reserved
  • Internally aware
  • A smaller group of close friends

 

Characteristics of An Extrovert:

  • Wider social circle
  • Enjoy being the center of attention
  • Speak first, think second
  • Make quick decisions
  • Gain energy from interacting with other people
  • Seeking more external stimulation
  • Like to initiate a connection and make new friends
  • Thrive in team-oriented work settings
  • Likes to participate in group activities, parties, etc.
  • Energized by interaction with others
  • Gregarious and expressive

characteristics of introvert vs extrovert

 


 

Strengths Of An Introvert

1) Super Creative
Introverts spend most of their time in solitude. This allows them to reflect, to discover and to form their very own unique opinion on various things in life. When it comes to thinking, they always look from within first. This makes them an independent thinker, always comes up with brilliant original ideas.

2) Rational Thinker
Solitude gives introverts space to learn from previous setbacks, to dream and to plan for the best outcome. Constant thinking helps them to become a naturally good problem solver. They think through every single detail crosses their mind, hence their decision making is often thorough and rational.

3) Good Listener
Introverts tend to think before they speak. This means they usually talk less, listen more. In addition to that, they are observant Not only do they listen to what others have to say, but they also pay a lot of attention to others’ body language. This is why introverts are good at listening and conversation with them is often very engaging.

4) Highly Effective
Introverts like to think things through before taking action. Hence, they usually plan their day ahead and strategically assign a task to every hour. This allows them to go through the day in a highly effective mode, where important tasks are always prioritized and be completed first. They do not like a distraction, so they don’t like to juggle a few things at the one time. It is a norm for them to block a specific time just to do one thing.

5) Brilliant Writer
Writing is naturally one of the best strengths for an introvert. Because they frequently examine their minds, they have accumulated a lot of ideas and opinions. By writing, they can further think through, refine and better conclude their ideas on various things in real life. Or they can simply let their mind wonders and create one amazing story after another. Another reason why introverts are great writers because they simply do not feel exhausted from writing for that’s the way how they recharge and feel energized again after busy social events.


 

Struggles Of An Introvert

1) Dislikes Surprises/Spontaneity
Introverts have higher arousal levels, which means they tend to take in more information from surroundings. This is why they prefer to be alone to avoid overstimulation. However, in the open workspace, random people and events can constantly pop up as a distraction. For example, colleagues strike up a conversation, the manager called for an emergency meeting and many other little things such as someone yelled or broke a glass can be a distraction for introverts. This constantly breaks up their flow and prevent them from entering the deep focus state. It can be a real struggle especially if the tasks on hand needed a lot of mind power. Also, most introverts do not like unexpected visits because they usually already have everything planned out ahead. They prefer to have things happen according to their plan and surprise is not welcome.

2) Need to recharge
Depending on the situations, interacting with others on work matters usually drain energy from introverts. This is why introverts tend to keep the conversation concise and do not like small talk during working hours. Especially for group projects, the longer the duration they need to interact with others, the more exhausted they will be. Hence, they tend to head straight back home instead of joining others for happy hours after work. It is not because they do not like the people around them, it is just that introverts need time to be alone, so they can be fully recharged again. But, for people who do not understand this, they might think the person is anti-social or not easy to befriend.

3) Caring too much on what others think
Introverts are more sensitive. With that saying, it does not mean that they can’t take in constructive feedback, but they will appreciate if people are willing to pay a little bit more attention to the wordings. Introverts take feedback very seriously and they tend to internalize it. This might lead to a downward spiral of emotions and demotivate introverts from putting more effort into the project. When discussing the working matter, introverts prefer to detach the issue from the person in charge, so that the other person will not take it personally. And, they wish that others can do the same for them too. For example, instead of saying “you are not performing well”, use the phrase “this method is not performing well.” It might sound the same for others, but is not the same for introverts.

4) Analysis Paralysis
Thinking thoroughly or think too much can be a double-edged sword sometimes. While others make decisions in a snap, introverts tend to pause, to understand and to analyze the full situation first before making a decision. This is why they usually take longer to make a decision, especially if there’s a dilemma on personal values. In addition to that, too much information acquired at one time might put them in the analysis-paralysis state. To cope with this, it can be a good strategy to jot down the ideas on paper. This will help them to declutter the mind, simplify the decision-making process.


 

How Do You Know If You Are An Introvert

Click Here For Free Personality TestTruity.com

There are many personality tests you can do to learn if you’re an introvert or extrovert. Among all, the most popular personality test would be the Myers & Briggs’ Personality Test. It was developed by Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother, Katharine Briggs, in the 1960s and it was built on the personality theories of Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung as outlined in his book, Psychological Types.

Myers & Briggs’ Personality Test not only tells you about your extraversion level, but it also tells you other personality traits as below. This personality test outlined 16 different personalities, each comes with different traits and strengths.

Extraversion vs. Introversion: How do you gain energy? Extraverts like to be with others and gain energy from people and the environment. Introverts gain energy from alone-time and need periods of quiet reflection throughout the day.

Sensing vs. Intuition: How do you collect information? Sensors gather facts from their immediate environment and rely on the things they can see, feel and hear. Intuitives look more at the overall context and think about patterns, meaning, and connections.

Thinking vs. Feeling: How do you make decisions? Thinkers look for the logically correct solution, whereas Feelers make decisions based on their emotions, values, and the needs of others.

Judging vs. Perceiving: How do you organize your environment? Judgers prefer structure and like things to be clearly regulated, whereas Perceivers like things to be open and flexible and are reluctant to commit themselves.

Quoted from Truity.com

Recommendation: Truity.com – Free Myers & Briggs’ Personality Test

If you want to know whether you are an introvert or extrovert, try out the free Myers & Briggs’ Personality Test at Truity.com. It can show you a lot of details about yourself, including your communication style, your relationship with others, your role as leaders and parents, your emotions, your suitable careers, and of course, your unique strengths and weaknesses which you can improve. It is important to understand yourself, so you can be confident in choosing your own path and stop comparing yourself with others in life.

My Personality Test Result at Truity.com:

I have done the free Myers & Briggs’ Personality Test on Truity.com. My personality style is INTJ and I think it is quite accurate. It is interesting to know that INTJ is the third rarest type in the population, making up only 2% of the general population.

be yourself be confident introvert

According to the explanation at Truity.com, INTJ indicates a person who is energized by time alone (Introverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on logic and reason (Thinking) and who prefers to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging). INTJs are sometimes referred to as Mastermind personalities because of their strategic, logical way of thinking.

It also shows you the introversion level and lets you know if you are an introvert or an extrovert.

introvert strength do not compare to others in life

So, what is your personality type? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Once again, you can learn more about your personality type at Truity.com.

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Do Dreams Have Meaning (12 Common Dreams & Meaning)

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Do Dreams Have Meaning

Yes, dreams do have meaning. According to the research, Nightmares, Bad Dreams, and Emotion Dysregulation: A Review and New Neurocognitive Model of Dreaming, published in Sage Journals, the researchers Tore Nielsen and Ross Levin have proposed the Neurocognitive Model of Dreaming. It suggests that our seemingly random dream images are guided by our emotional states.

In other words, our dreams often reflect our emotional experiences during waking hours. This explains why people who have experienced trauma are more susceptible to nightmares than others. A retired soldier might dream about fighting on the battlefield again, and a graduate student might find himself sitting for the final year exam again in the dreamland.

While our dream itself does not have an objective, the overall emotional quality of the dream probably does have meaning. It tells us something about our emotions. So, if you are having a sequence of nightmares lately, you might want to monitor your waking hours and see if you are undergoing a high level of stress or fear of losing something lately.

Heads up: My post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through such links, I will be rewarded a small commission to buy ice cream, at no extra cost to you.


 

Dream Interpretation

It has come a long way since humans are first trying to uncover the hidden meaning that lies behind dreams. The ancient Egyptian civilization was the first to describe the similarity between dreams and awakenings. They practiced dream interpretation and analysis for thousands of years before the modern psychoanalytic theories. 

In the 19th century, scholars started to abandon the supernatural ideas linked to dreams, and start to look at dreams from a more scientific perspective.

Sigmund Freud, in his book The Interpretation of Dreams, suggests that dreams were all forms of “wish fulfillment”. It can give us special insights into our deepest selves. This is why he studied dreams to understand the unconscious mind, for our dreams reveal our repressed wishes to us.

On the other hand, Carl Jung felt that dreams were more than a repressed wish and suggest that dreams serve to compensate for the part of the psyche that is underdeveloped in waking life. 

Nowadays, in the modern era, the psychologist and neurologists armed with various imaging equipment like MRIs and PET scans, allow us to learn much more about the dreaming process in a scientific manner. However, there are still many schools of thought on whether dreams have any meaning.

According to Activation-Synthesis Hypothesis, proposed by Harvard University psychiatrists, John Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley, dreams do not have any meaning, they are just merely the brain’s efforts to make sense out of the electrical brain impulses.

While on the other side, G. William Domhoff, a distinguished professor emeritus and a research professor of psychology at UC Santa Cruz, in this new book The Emergence of Dreaming: Mind-Wandering, Embodied Simulation, and the Default Network (Oxford University Press), he presents an integrated neurocognitive theory of dreams that is grounded in the similarities between dreaming and drifting waking thought.

“Dreaming isn’t tied to any one brain state,” said Domhoff. “The issue is the level of brain activation. Dreams are imaginative but largely realistic simulations of waking life.” In simple words, Domhoff has found that dreams reflect the thoughts and concerns of a dreamer’s waking life.

Although it is difficult to decide which theory to follow, “people, in general, are beginning to be more open to the fact that dreams are more than random misfirings of the brain, and that they are telling us something about ourselves. These may not be obvious links, for example, to lose your bag in a dream doesn’t mean you are going to lose your bag tomorrow. It would more likely mean that the dreamer feels that something important to them is missing”, said Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, the Professional Dream Analyst and author.


 

Common Dreams And Their Meaning

Dream interpretation and analysis are becoming more popular nowadays as a source for both entertainment and self-reflection.

Do dreams have a real meaning behind them? They are many schools of thought on this, but in general, many people believe that dreams do reveal unconscious desires and wishes.

Please note that there’s no single definitive meaning for symbols and images in dreams. However, if the dream images are very common, we do have a generally accepted meaning for it. You can see if your dreams are listed below and are it being interpreted correctly.

 

1) Being Chased
dream meaning about being chased by monster ghost

We dream about this a lot. One day we dream about being chased by a bear, and another day by a zombie or ghost. The underlying meaning of this dream is that we are running away from something which requires our attention in our waking time. If your to-do list is piling up, it is best to stop procrastinating and start to clear it up. Otherwise, those important but not urgent tasks will then slowly become urgent and unconsciously increase your level of stress and anxiety. 

Tony Crisp, the author of Dream Dictionary, suggests that being chased in a dream might indicate a desire to escape from your fears or desires.

 

2) Vehicles
Dream about vehicles cars

In general, vehicles like a car, ship, train or airplane reflect the direction and control we have over our lives. If you have this dream, you are probably thinking about the direction in life, and wanting to have more control over things that happen in your life. Needless to say, if you have bad dreams like losing control over the vehicle, you are probably facing an important challenge that you do not have full confidence currently, and the fear of failure is slowing consuming you. It is best to shift your focus to a more positive mindset, such as “challenges in life is good as it is an indicator that you are leaving your comfort zone and growing”, “There’s no failure, there’s only feedback and lesson”.

3) People
dream meaning about people

One of the most common dreams we have is often about people. Dreaming about people can have two aspects. Depending on the dream, the first aspect is that the people we dreamed about is the person who wishes to become or fear to become. The second aspect is that it reflects an interpersonal issue we need to work through. Remember, a dream does not have a definitive meaning. If you constantly dream about someone, it could be something as simple as you have been thinking about him/her lately or you miss her, or there’s something you wish complete with him/her in real life.

4) Paralysis
dream about paralysis

Our body entering into a form of paralysis during dreaming. This helps to prevent us from physically acting dreams. When it comes to dream interpretation, dreaming about paralyzed could reflect a lack of control in waking life.

5) Death
dream meaning about death

Dream about death is often taken negatively but it often means that you are facing or wanting a dramatic change in waking life. Maybe you want to put an end to something and to start a new venture in life. It could also reflect anxiety about the change and the fear of the unknown.

Lauri Loewenberg, in her book Dream on It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life, suggest that “Like death, change can be scary because – also like death – we do not know what is ‘on the other side,’ of the change, which is why the dreaming mind equates change with death” 

6) Falling Uncontrollably
dream about falling

Well, as you might have already guessed, dreaming about falling uncontrollably might indicate that you are feeling very much out of control in life. It can also be interpreted as you are afraid of dropping from your current position or status. If you dreamed about failing, it might suggest that you need to reconsider a new option in certain areas of your life. 

“Dreaming of falling is very common. It is a symbol of fear in real life – perhaps of failing at work or in your love life… Falling often expresses a need to let yourself go more and enjoy life more.” claims Russell Grant, author of The Illustrated Dream Dictionary.

7) Nudity
dream about public nudity

Nudity in a dream is often related to vulnerability or emotional exposure. It could mean you are afraid to open up your emotions/wants in life (due to fear of rejection or fear of getting hurt), but deep inside, you desire to be accepted as who you truly are.

Penny Peirce, the author of the Dream Dictionary for Dummies, suggests that dreaming of public nudity might indicate that you feel like a phony or you’re afraid of revealing your imperfections and shortcomings.

8) Dream About Taking A Test
dream about test and exams

Taking an exam can very much reflect that you are facing a stressful challenge that you feel unprepared for. 

According to Craig Hamilton-Parker, the author of The Hidden Meaning of Dreams, “Examinations are stressful experiences in which you are made to face up to your shortcomings…To dream of failing an exam, being late for one, or being unprepared shows that you feel unprepared for the challenges of waking life.”

9) Baby
dream about baby

If you dream about babies, it probably means that you want to invite something new into your life. It could be a new environment, a new life, a new job, or a new opportunity.  

10) Food
dream about food

Dreaming about food could mean that you are hungry for new information and insights. It can also mean you desire to have a higher level of energy to cope with daily tasks.

11) Sex
dream about sex

Dreaming about sex can simply indicate a need for sexual expression or intimate connections.

12) Flying
Dream Meaning About Flying

Dreaming about flying is also like dreaming about vehicles. It is related to the control we have in life. If you can fly steadily towards the direction you want to go, it is an indicator that you have good control in life. Flying high while enjoying the flying process also means that you feel more confident or powerful in life. 

According to Tony Crisp, author of Dream Dictionary, flying “can represent feelings of freedom and independence, or they can also indicate a desire to flee or escape from the realities of life.”


 

A Word From InspirationBoost

Once again, please note that only the dreamer can truly interpret the meaning of the dream and how can it be linked to the specific events occurring in waking life.

In general, our dreams are linked to the emotions we experienced during our waking life. If you are constantly having bad dreams, you should start monitoring your mood during the day and learn what has triggered the negative emotions. 


 

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17 Examples Of Passive Aggressive Behavior

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Passive aggressive behavior is often implicit and subtle. Hence, it is very difficult to deal with if you can’t identify it in the first place. This post shares 17 common examples of passive aggressive behavior. It will help you to avoid being manipulated by people with such behavior.


What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

According to Dictionary.com, “Passive aggressive behavior is a way to express feelings of anger or annoyance, but in a non-forthcoming way. Instead of communicating openly, people who engage in this type of behavior share their negative feelings through actions.”

A person exhibits passive-aggressive behavior when he expresses feelings of anger or resentment in a masked or covert way. Such behavior often aims to get back to the other person and to make them feel bad. Sometimes, it is done intentionally to manipulate the other person’s actions or feelings, so they react according to what he wants.

example of passive aggressive behavior type

credit: http://www.andreaharrn.co.uk/category/aggressive/#sthash.uxKTiOM0.dpbs

Heads up: My post may contain affiliate links. If you purchase through such links, I will be rewarded a small commission to buy ice cream, at no extra cost to you.

 


17 Examples Of Passive Aggressive Behavior

This list covers some of the most common examples of passive-aggressive behavior. You can use it to identify if someone has been subtly manipulating you with the passive aggressive behavior. 

1) Make Backhanded Compliments

Backhanded compliments are fake compliments or “disguised insults”. People with passive aggressive behavior use it to humiliate or to criticize the other person indirectly.

Backhanded compliments examples:

  • You look so much more awake with makeup today.
  • You’re lucky to have really small boobs, they always have your bra size in store.
  • Your life is so amazing. I wish I don’t have any responsibilities like you.
  • I wish I can have maternity leave too, so I can leave the jobs to others.

For fake compliments like these, you might need some time to ‘get it’. They are insults in disguise, but the person who said it packaged it as a compliment so well. If you confront it, you will then become the ‘bad guy’ who is too sensitive and overacting. Hence, most of the time, you are forced to accept it awkwardly.

 

2) Procrastination

Procrastination is another subtle act used by people with passive aggressive behavior. They purposely delay completing an accepted request to the last moment to punish the other person who they are angry at.

Even worse, they sometimes choose to miss the deadline in order to get back at the person who made them angry. They want the person to look bad or to be hurt professionally from their actions. Thus, this can be seen as an act of ‘revenge’. 

“We have found some links with chronic procrastination and personality challenges like ADHD, passive-aggressive tendencies, revenge, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other areas…”Joseph Ferrari, Ph.D. 

Procrastination Examples of Passive Aggressive Behavior:

  • Pretend to misremember the deadline and delay the other person’s progress
  • Break promises /quit and cause the project to halt
  • Submit half-hearted work last minute and causes a lot of work need to be done on the other person’s side

They use procrastination to assert power over others and make them suffer. In the workplace, this causes others to receive demerits or warnings.

 

3) Exclude People

People with passive aggressive behavior can use exclusion as an approach to isolate the person whom they do not like.  It can assert pressure socially and serve as an indirect warning for others not to go against them. A simple social exclusion example can be inviting everyone but the person they do not like to a gathering or party after work. It is done to purposely to make the person feel left out and to make him sad.

On the other side, professional exclusion can be intentionally keeping people uninformed about important things such as change of deadline, the new meeting agenda, and the upcoming trend or new direction of the team. 

Since it is not their obligation to update you on work or to invite you to a social event, people with passive-aggressive behavior like to use exclusion to their advantage to express dissatisfaction or anger indirectly. If you are the victim, you can’t be mad at them because again, it is your own responsibility to keep yourself updated in the workplace and to build your own social circle. It makes you an overdemanding person if you start asking them to do the things for you. 

 

4) Intentional Mistakes

Since passive aggressive people do not reject or resist directly, they tend to accept the others’ requests half-heartedly. In order to avoid getting asked to accept more new tasks again, they intentionally submit low-quality work. So, next time, the others would choose to do the work themselves rather than spending more time to re-work what the passive-aggressive people have done.

While deterring you from giving them more tasks, they also can cause you trouble, lower your work performance and irritate you. Since you cannot blame them as you are the one who requested for help, they use it to their advantage and test your patience. 

 

5) Play Victim

The passive aggressor can pretend to fall victim to the other person’s action or request. Doing so, they can incur guiltiness in others and refrain them from doing the same thing again. 

For example, they purposely stay back after working hours to complete the extra task you gave them. They did this to show the others that you have caused them trouble and burden. It makes you look like a bad person. But, the fact is that the task is so simple and they can certainly complete it during normal working hours. They tend to exaggerate the effect of your action on them and then manipulate you with a guilty conscience. It exerts social pressure on you, so you stop requesting them for help completely.

 

6) Make Wistful Comment

The wistful comment is another way how a passive aggressive person can manipulate your actions or thoughts. 

What is a wistful comment?
A wistful comment is basically a wish to own or to do something but it is expressed in a sad or melancholy way.

Passive-aggressive example of wistful comments:

  • I wish I could focus on my career and be successful too. But unfortunately, I have to spend all my time to take care of the kids. 
  • I wish the house is clean, but never mind, I know you are busy these days.

In the example above, you can see a common trend. These wistful comments often begin with a wish or declaration, but then end in a defeating way. It is done so that the responsibility is now on another person’s shoulder. 

“I wish I can save some money but it’s okay I know presents can make you happy.” The passive aggressive person said this, so the other person will feel guilty and tell them no need to prepare a gift in the first place. They are good at using guilt to manipulate people.

 

7) Sabotage

Sabotage is the action used by the passive aggressor to hurt someone. They plan ahead so the bad intention behind their calculated moves will not be exposed and they stay being the “good guy”.

Examples of passive aggressive behavior:

  • Invite someone to smoke when they know the other person is trying very hard to quit smoking.
  • Purposely share baby photos with people with fertility problems to make them sad.
  • Gossip spread false news, and purposely shape a bad image of someone within his social circle. It is actually sabotage disguised as sharing or caring. 

They do this subtly so that the victim who is being hurt will be unaware of it or believe that they themselves are responsible for the outcome.

 

8) Telling You The Opposite Meaning

We can often see this in a relationship. One party may verbally agree on things to avoid direct confrontation but then he shows otherwise via body language. 

Examples of passive aggressive behaviors:
Agree to let you go for dinner with your coworkers and leave him/her alone in the house, but then he/she expresses exaggerated anger or sadness non-verbally. It makes you guilty and you have to cancel the plan by yourself. 

Passive-aggressive people do not say no directly because they do not want to create direct conflict. So, they force the other party to obliged by showing dissatisfaction in other ways. They expect people to read their minds and then do according to what they want. Living with them, you will feel like you need to be careful of every action you take. Otherwise, if something goes wrong, the fault is yours because you fail to understand their true meaning. You will be labeled as insensitive. 

 

9) Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is similar to “telling you the opposite” when it comes to passive aggressive behavior. Instead of giving the minimum or the opposite response to you, they simply say nothing.

The concept of the silent treatment is almost the same. First, they say nothing about the problem to avoid direct confrontation, and second, such behavior shows disrespect and provoke conflict to happen. 

Silent treatment examples are not returning calls, texts or emails, pretend they didn’t see you when they pass by, and literally not talking to you. The silent treatment is all about withholding.

If you get mad at them for the silent treatment, it makes you look like an attention seeker. And, if a quarrel happens, you are the one who started it. This is a typical example of passive aggressive behavior.

 

10) Being Sarcastic

They ridicule someone verbally and disguise it as a joke. If you confront them directly, they will pretend it’s just a joke and you’re being too sensitive.

Since sarcasm is normally used to ridicule something in a ‘funny’ way, it is easy for the passive aggressors to disguise it as a joke. They belittle someone indirectly, and if needed, they can easily get away by just calling it a joke. 

It’s hard to know if the person is just trying to be funny or they are trying to insult you by being sarcastic. In any case, if you do not like it, just let them know it has offended you. If they say ‘why so serious, it’s just a joke’, then tell them you can accept jokes but just not the kind of jokes that is insulting.

 

11) Deflect Responsibility

When a quarrel start, the passive aggressor is good at changing the topics or deflect the responsibility. They are really good at shifting the responsibility, especially back to the person who confronted them in the first place.

In certain relationships, the passive aggressor might even hold someone else responsible for their emotions. This type of blaming is a form of coercive control

Example of passive aggressive behavior: 

When confronted why they break their promise again, the passive aggressor can say why do you raise your voice, and say you do not respect or love him anymore. Discussing a particular issue, and then all of a sudden, it’s a matter of love or hate? Sounds ridiculous, but that how passive aggressor does it, they don’t want to confront the person who raises the issue and to give reason (because they often can’t), so they switch the topic and then start blaming the other person on the new topic. Now the other person will have to be the one to start explaining. 

You know you’re dealing with a passive aggressor when you try to discuss an issue with them and they start blaming and accuse you of something you have never done before. If you’re in a relationship with a passive aggressor, you will find yourself unable to express your dissatisfaction because every time when you do that, they will accuse you on something else and you will be the one giving an explanation on the new topic. They use this method to deter you from confronting them again. 

 

12) Play Dumb

The passive aggressors can play dumb to avoid their own responsibility. They use this method to subtly control the targeted person or to irritate them.

Passive aggressive examples of this behavior:

  • Oh, I thought that is just a suggestion. I didn’t know you actually want me to do it.
  • I don’t know you need the purchasing report as well because you only told me to ‘prepare the reports”. You didn’t specify what reports are needed.
  • I do not know how to use excel to prepare the report. Can you show me how?

They do this so that the other person feels it is too cumbersome to convey what they want to the passive aggressor. Also, since the passive aggressor does not understand the task, there might be a lot of mistakes in their work and this is too risky. The outcome is that they avoid asking the passive aggressor to do the work altogether and this is the outcome he wants. They do not want to reject the task directly, so they play dumb, and make the other person say, “nevermind I will do it myself”

 

13) They Keep Score

The passive aggressive people tend to remember all the perceived injustice they receive on their end. Then, they will wait for the perfect moment for an act of revenge.

It is hard for normal people to avoid offending them because they tend to perceive a lot of little things as injustice. In order to avoid direct confrontation, they will keep score for many months and one day, get back to the targeted person out of sudden. This makes often makes the targeted person feel odd and simply cannot comprehend the situation.

For example, you bought someone a present and you forgot to bring another one for the passive aggressor. He pretends everything is ok but he is actually mad inside. After months, the passive aggressor bought others present during a festival and purposely exclude you back just to get revenge on you. 

 

14) Sullen Attitude

People who exhibit a sullen attitude is often described as bad-tempered, resentful, and refusing to be cooperative or cheerful.

Passive aggressive people tend to avoid confrontation and not to deal with them directly. So, their life tends to be controlled by a lot of external factors because they are not doing anything to change them. The only thing they do is complain or to rebel quietly to express discontent over their life situation. This way, they do not need to confront the other person directly. And, through such actions, they require people around them to ‘get it’ and act according to how they want.

Sullen people are forever miserable, gloomy and negative. They complain about anything they possibly can and they purposely do things to spread their pessimism to you.

For example, you prepare breakfast for the passive aggressor person, they eat it but with the expression of “oh no, not this again. I hate this breakfast”. They do not like the type of breakfast but they just won’t tell you, instead, they just show their discontent on their faces and keep you frustrated not knowing what has gone wrong.

Another example, the holiday is coming and the passive aggressor said it is alright for you to plan everything for the holiday trip. But during the trip, the passive aggressor act being unhappy or moody because they do not like a particular itinerary. They don’t say anything but they subtly complain about things with their attitude and their facial expression.

 

15) Stubborn

The passive aggressive people are being stubborn not because they want to stand their ground over something which is important but just to irritate you. Perhaps, you might have done something which the passive aggressor perceived as injustice and he is now getting his revenge back on you.

In other words, they defend their position with some ridiculous excuse not because they truly believe it but they just want to annoy you. Sometimes, even if they know their actions or behavior is wrong, they are still going to hold on to it, so that you will get mad. If there’s a quarrel, they will say “you are the one who started it” but in fact, they are the ones who trigger it with their unacceptable attitude and behavior.

Passive Aggressive Example – Stubbornness:
You prohibit them from doing something, for example eating in the bedroom. Then, they refuse to wash their plates and tend to leave it in the sink for days saying it is not dirty and it is not going to attract cockroaches. No matter what you say, even if they know their statement is wrong, they are just going to hold on to it just to irritate you. They do so to tell you indirectly not to tell them what they can do, or they will cause you a lot of pain or trouble. When you want to correct them next time, your inner voice will say “I might as well just forget or swallow this, otherwise, they will cause me even more problem and pain”. They control your behavior and action subtly.

 

16) Push your button

The passive aggressive people like to push other people’s buttons when theirs are triggered. For example, you did something that offended them, they will pretend as if it is nothing, but then they will push your button to make you mad on purpose just to get back to you. And, because the two incidents are irrelevant, it is a good cover-up for getting revenge.

Examples of passive aggressive behavior:
Y
ou forgot to buy something they requested, then they purposely throw away your important things when tidying up the house claiming it is an accident and they do not know it is important to you but the fact is they totally know about it. 

 

17) Indirect Request

This is a sneaky way for passive aggressors to put pressure on people, so they can get what they want indirectly. 

A classic example would be:

On a road trip, the passive aggressor asks “do you want to stop for a coffee”. The actual reason why he/she ask is not that they’re concern if you need a coffee but they want one themselves. If you miss the hidden meaning, they will then put up some ‘attitude’ for you to see, and you will start wondering what has gone wrong again. If a quarrel starts, you will be the one to be blamed because you are so ‘insensitive’ for not getting their hidden meaning. Plus, they have asked you if you need a coffee, but you didn’t even care to ask back, you just do not care about them, and now you are not only insensitive but a total jerk. 

Passive aggressors like to put pressure to conform when asking for something. When they ask something indirectly, they often assume it is the other’s responsibility to “get it”. And, if you failed to get the hidden message behind their questions,  by default, they will assume you are at fault. It’s a pity they can’t see the problem arises is because of their poor communication skills.

If you are in a relationship with a passive aggressor, you will find yourself trying to mind-read and explain yourself all the time.

 


What Causes Passive Aggressive Behavior

  • Childhood Trauma – they might have a very bad experience in dealing with direct conflict in early life.
  • Childhood Upbringing – they could be conditioned to do so while growing up in a household where direct expression is not encouraged.
  • Suppression of Anger – they do not have the authority to say no. So, they suppress the anger on the surface and express it passively. And slowly, this becomes their habit.
  • Social Adaptations – they want to be accepted at the current social circle (friends, family, coworkers), and they do not want the relationship to turn sour. So, they resort to releasing their anger subtly while keeping the ongoing relationship.
  • Lack of Confidence – they might think it is useless to express their feelings directly because the other party will not listen to them. So, they tend to create trouble and manipulate others to act according to how they want it. This avoids direct confrontation and they might be able to get what they want in the end.  Or,
  • Bad Communication Skills – they simply have not learned how to communicate more effectively or directly.

 


How To Deal With Passive Aggressive People

1) Identify the passive aggressive people
If you found yourself pressured to do something or often being blamed when you are with someone, then you are probably dealing with a passive-aggressive person. They often do not tell you to want they want directly, and they only show it with their attitude. They put you in a situation where if you confront them and raise the conflict, you will then be labeled as too sensitive or unreasonable. They confuse you that you are the reason for the problem when you are not. 

2) Stay Objective
It is hard to stay objective so when you know the passive aggressor is pretending to be innocent or playing dumb to irritate you. However, if you want to solve the problem, you will have to discuss the matter objectively and try not to get personal. 

3) Confront them directly
Let them know 3 things: No.1, it is not possible for you to read their mind, No. 2, you prefer direct communication No.3 if there’s a conflict, let’s have a conversation between adults and cut off those little immature actions that only kids do. Saying so will put the responsibility to communicate directly on their shoulders. If they do otherwise, then they will be labeled as a kid or immature. They like to be the good guy on the surface, and they want to stay perfect in their social circle. So, by default, they do not want to be labeled as immature by others. This will pressure them to go for direct communication next time. Let them know communication is a mutual thing. It’s all about exchanging thoughts and opinions, and it’s never about guessing and mind reading. 

4) Show them how to communicate directly
Because they have been practicing indirect communication for years, it is a challenge for them to start doing the other way around even if they want to make a change. When you catch them exhibit passive aggressive behavior without knowing it, give them a gentle reminder, and show them the way to communicate things directly. Ask their permission if it’s alright for you to show them the better way to communicate with you, so you can understand their motives effectively? If they say yes, then put yourself in their shoes, and say it directly, so they can learn from your example. 

5) Avoid them
If you already let them know the way they communicate is deteriorating the relationship and causes you to feel disappointed and they are still doing it on purpose, then just avoid or minimize your contact with the passive aggressor. You do not owe them anything, let life to teach them the lesson. If the person is someone you cannot avoid, for example, your family member, each time when they exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, let them know it won’t work, not even in the covert way because you can catch it and you won’t give them permission to hurt you. This tells them their default communication style is not going to work anymore. If they want to communicate with you, only direct communication will work now. 

passive aggresive infographics

credit: https://visme.co/blog/passive-aggressive-behaviors-in-the-workplace-infographic/

 


Conclusion

A passive-aggressive person can be very childlike. In their world, they always want to have the upper hand and get revenge on small little things which they perceive as injustice. In addition to that, they do not know how to communicate directly, so it is super frustrating and energy-draining to deal with them. We hope the 17 examples of passive aggressive behaviors are helpful to you. 

If you have already let them know that their passive aggressive behavior is disappointing you and they have no intention to change, just let them go and focus on living your own life to the fullest. Some people are meant to be in our life just to teach us a lesson but not to stay with us forever. In this case, they help us to learn what is our boundaries and we can have full power in controlling what and who can come into our life. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

 

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2) Manifestation Miracle – Revealed the #1 secret for manifesting love, happiness, wealth and success

3) Mend The Marriage – Simple, proven tactics to bring back the spark in your marriage

 

 

 

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15 Signs Of Emotional Maturity | Why Is It So Important

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What Is Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity is the ability to take full responsibility for own emotions. Emotionally mature people define the quality of emotion they want, hence their mood is not easily influenced by external factors. Besides that, they are highly aware of their emotional level and are able to control it well when challenges arise. 

 

Definition Of Emotional Maturity In Psychology

Emotional maturity is a personality trait, the result of emotional development and the display of emotion appropriate to one’s chronological age. It usually reflects increased emotional adjustment and emotional stability and the attainment of emotional self-regulation.

 


Why Is Emotional maturity Important

Emotional maturity is crucial in two aspects: personal growth and relationship.

Emotional maturity is very important for personal growth. People who are emotionally matured are able to discuss things objectively, without being influenced too much by personal feelings. Not only this helps them to shape the right mindset to admit own mistakes when it happens, but it also helps them to accept feedback or criticism. This way, they can constantly learn from their mistakes and become a better person.

Emotional maturity also plays a crucial role when it comes to a relationship. Everyone has different perspectives, therefore conflicts can happen. If a person is not emotionally matured enough, he will tend to perceive suggestions or feedback by others as an attack and react with a hostile attitude (attack the other person personally instead of discussing a solution for the conflict). The stubbornness to change or to consider anyone else’s reasons or arguments makes them very hard to get along with. This can ruin their interpersonal relationships in the long term.

Overall, people who are emotionally mature are less likely to be affected by those who aren’t. They can identify those people who are not emotionally mature, be aware of what is going on with them, and then they can consciously choose either to help them to get out of the loop or to avoid them.

 


25 Signs Of Emotional Maturity

The most important element of emotional maturity is taking responsibility for own emotions and actions. This does not mean a person has to keep blaming himself over things he can’t control but to look at things objectively and strive to solve challenges when it arises while keeping own emotion well controlled. It is important to understand that we only take responsibility for those things we have control (our thoughts, emotions) and not for what we can’t (external event, other people’s opinion).

 

1) Admit Mistakes When You Are Wrong
Emotionally mature people do not blame others for their own mistakes. They take accountability for their own actions and treat mistakes solely as feedback or lesson. In addition to that, they do not take other people’s opinions or feedback personally and perceive it as an attack or insult. Hence, they do not respond by attacking back. Often, they will just admit it, apologize, and strive to improve themselves. 

Emotional maturity example:
A person is late for an appointment. He knew that the traffic is going to be bad in the evening but he didn’t depart earlier. When the other person is not happy about it, he does not attack back by pointing out that the other person was late before too, so it is alright for him to be late this time. Instead, he just admits his mistakes and chooses to depart earlier for evening appointments next time. 

 

2) Admit When You Are Biased
We all have preferences in life and sometimes we are biased without knowing it. When emotionally mature people recognized that they are biased towards certain opinions and it is not fair to the other person, they will choose to acknowledge it and try to find common ground instead of insisting that they are not biased and they are right.

 

3) Respect Own Feelings And Needs
Emotionally matured people understand their emotional needs. It is important to take care of others’ feeling but it does not mean they should totally forgo their own feelings. The key is to stay balanced and to attend to own emotional needs when it is necessary. If a person does not respect his own feelings, it is easy for him to be influenced by others and become miserable.

Example of emotional maturity:
The mother wanted the son to get a new car for her and insisted that she needs a brand new and high-end car. She sold the old car and then told his son that she has no transport to work. She is trying to force her son to purchase the car for her by using a guilt attack, where if the son does not comply, then he is deemed to be not filial to his mother. In this case, the mother is exhibiting a passive-aggressive behavior and is subtly manipulating the son to get what she wants. If the son is not an emotionally matured person, he will feel obliged to purchase the new high-end car even though he already feels burden handling all the family expenses now. 

 

4) Don’t Play Victim
Emotionally matured people take full responsibility for their own lives. Whenever they get setbacks in life, they view it as their own responsibility to improve themselves rather than giving away the power to adapt and change to the external event which will then render them powerless. This makes them emotionally strong. Whatever happens in life happens for a positive reason and the reason is to make them stronger.

 

5) Define And Set Boundaries
An emotionally matured person understand their standpoint. They know what they want in life and they also made a conscious decision on the things that they do not want. When things beyond their boundaries happen, such as lies, insult, discrimination, passive-aggressive behavior, they can detect it right away, deal with it accordingly and won’t let it destroy their self-esteem. This gives them tremendous power over emotional control. Nothing can hurt them without their consent. 

 

6) Rational Response
When unexpected things happen, be it positive or negative, an emotionally matured person will not let it get over his head. Instead of reacting impulsively, an emotionally matured person tends to pause, think over the situation and then give a meaningful response. They are less likely to be carried away by emotion and more likely to act based on rational thoughts. This makes them very more reliable and independent over work performance and emotionally. 

 

7) Greater Endurance
There are going to be a lot of challenges in life and there will be hard decisions needed to be made. People who are emotionally mature are always mentally prepared to face difficulties and are less likely to give up. They envision possible setbacks and get prepared for it. So, when times come and setback really happens, they have already got a plan b on hand. This gives them a boost of self-confidence to keep moving forward. A mature person has a higher tolerance level of discomfort. They can extend beyond comfort zone long enough to find a solution and grow. On the opposite side, people who are not emotionally mature tend to only complain and blame when setbacks happen. 

 

8) Realistic Optimism
An emotionally mature person understands there are two sides to every coin. For example, a higher return investment always comes with a higher risk. Hence, they can accept it as part of the risk when things do not quite work out properly. Instead of falling into the trap of self-pity, they quickly adapt, take up new strategy and hope for the next best thing to happen. When things become uncertain, they tend to look at the positive or potential side. This helps to cut off a lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress.

 

9) Integrity
Emotionally mature people are bound by their own principle. They are honest with themselves even if there’s no one around to monitor them. They tend not to take advantage of other people or the situation if it is against their principle and has very good self-discipline. If they made a mistake, they are willing and committed to telling the truth even if it means that they need to face the negative consequences or punishment. 

Example of emotional maturity:
Josh accidentally bumps into his neighbor’s car. There was no one there, so if he were to just walk away, no one is going to know and he does not need to compensate anything. However, he still chose to admit and apologize to his neighbor for the damage done. He is able to deal with a stressful situation because he is emotionally mature.

 

10) Delayed Gratification
Emotionally mature people are inherently good at prioritizing. The know what serves them better in the long run and are able to fight the bad temptation in mind. They know they have to pay responsibility to their own behavior and action, thus they consciously choose to resist things that can be detrimental to their long term wellbeing. 

 

11) Good Listener
Emotionally mature people emphasis a lot on listening. They carefully listen and understand what the other person has to say before expressing their own opinion. Even in an argument, they give a chance to the other person to talk. They view argument as an opportunity to exchange thoughts and always try to find common ground if possible. They are able to look at conflicting views objectively and do not quickly disregard the other’s opinion. If they find themselves at fault, they are mature enough to admit it and agree with the other person’s opinion.  

 

12) Don’t Get Triggered Easily
Emotionally mature people do not take things personally. When they communicate with others, they also tend to not make it personal. In other words, they discuss matters, not people. They do not put their ego above the discussion, so it makes it easy for people to have a discussion with them and have a productive solution. People with low emotional maturity are very easy to be identified. They exert a hostile attitude towards criticism and they like to attack people who have a conflicted view in person rather than discussing the matter objectively.

 

13) Sense of Humour
People who are emotionally mature are not afraid to laugh at themselves when they made silly mistakes. Even if other people are making fun or teasing them, they won’t take it seriously unless it is beyond their boundaries. Their happiness or emotion does not depend on what others have to say about them. So, being around with people who are emotionally mature, you will feel more carefree and fun because you do not need to worry about accidentally offending them all the time. We all have a friend like that whom we enjoy to spend time with. 

 

14) Flexibility
An emotionally mature person is not afraid to admit that they are wrong or there is a better way to do things. If someone gave them constructive criticism for improvement, chances are they will grab it. They will not stubbornly cling to the old idea because of afraid people will laugh at them for making a mistake previously. Without a limiting mindset, emotionally mature people tend to grow faster than those who are not.

 

15) Inner Peace
Emotionally mature people know what they want to pursue in life and they understand it is totally alright to be different. Hence, they listen to others’ opinions but consciously choose which advice to accept and which one to reject. External events can’t affect them much and they tend to look at the positive side all the time. This is why their emotions and mood do not fluctuate too much and they are overall content and happy. If they do not like something, they will take action to remove themselves from the negative environment or do something to improve the situation rather than just complaining. 

 

A Word From Inspiration Boost
Emotional intelligence allows us to read and to understand emotions while emotional maturity allows us to come up with rational and meaningful responses. Both are crucial for us to lead a healthy life. Emotional maturity cannot be attained overnight but we can certainly improve it every day by doing self-review. Keeping a journal online or offline is a good idea to start improving our emotional maturity.

 


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